My Mom Has Written About Me For 14 Years…It’s Payback Time!

Top 5 Embarrassing Facts That You Wouldn’t Expect About Rebecca Eckler

(As told by me, her 14-year old daughter, Rowan)

Not many people can say that the day after they were born their face was plastered on the front of a national newspaper. But I can.

My mother, Rebecca Eckler, has been writing about me since before I was born. When she announced she was pregnant, it was on the front page of the National Post, where my mother was a columnist.

I have not read any of my mother’s nine books, but I have heard the stories about me many times before. She tried reading me her book Toddlers Gone Wild before bed when I was 10, but I wasn’t allowed to bring it to school because there was too much swearing in it. I loved hearing the stories about when I was young. It’s fun to hear stories about my former self, that I don’t remember but believe because it’s such “classic Rowan.”

But having the stories of my life out for everyone to see is not always easy. Once, we were walking on the street and a man screamed out, “It’s Rebecca and Rowan!” My mother hurried me away because of stranger-danger. Sometimes when we go out to eat, random people that follow my mom’s Facebook page or other social media platforms recognize us. My mom and I have always been super close. But now… it’s payback. It’s my turn to write about my mom, not the other way around. So without further ado, here are the Top 5 Embarrassing Facts That You Wouldn’t Expect about Rebecca Eckler.

5) She LOVES Her Lucky Bathrobe

Anyone who lives in our house knows about my mom’s lucky bathrobe. A bulky light blue robe with clouds and the ability to swallow anyone who dares to enter it. My mom always wears this robe when writing. Whether it’s a Facebook post, an article, or even an entire book, she wears this robe. This robe has been around for 20 years and will probably be around for 100 more. Whenever I come home from school I can expect one of two things. Either my mom is sitting in her bathrobe on the same kitchen table chair doing more work, or she is in the backyard sitting on the stairs with, you guessed it, her bathrobe. It doesn’t matter what the weather is outside. She’ll be there. She calls it her outside office.

4) She Has a Great Need to Wear Comfy Clothes

Along with constantly wearing the same bathrobe every day she also has the need to wear the same thing under that bathrobe everyday. And no, there’s not just one outfit she always wears. It’s the type of clothes that she wears incessantly. And that type of clothes is comfy. Really comfy! Right when she comes through the door, off with those vexatious work clothes, on with literally anything else that’s comfortable. Anything that replaces the feeling of irritating “work clothes.” Sometimes when my friends come over to my house I try to avoid the kitchen where the rare Rebecca Eckler is not in her natural habitat. I do not want them to compare how their mothers dress to how my mom dresses. (Their moms stay in the same “work clothes” all day. And they don’t have a lucky bathrobe either!) But if we do find ourselves in the realm of the creature, I just have to let it be. There’s nothing I can do to stop it. My mom can have a conversations with them, oblivious to the fact that she is only wearing boxer briefs and a hole-ridden college t-shirt. (If she’s not wearing her bathrobe of course.)

3) She’s Got a Lack of Self-Awareness

My mom can have lighting fast reflexes to save me or my brother, Holt, from falling down the stairs or hurting ourselves. But she can also be inattentive and distracted from the surroundings she is in. I cannot tell you how many times I have pulled her out of the way so people can walk past us on a moving sidewalk in the airport. Sometimes it boggles my mind how someone who can tell endless stories about my life in perfect detail, can’t even acknowledge the fact that she is still standing in the mile-long Starbucks line after she already placed her order. My mom will also be so indulged in her writing that words go in one ear and out the other, along with a response that hasn’t processed through her mind yet. When I was five I asked my mom if I can write what Madeline from the movie Madeline wrote under her bed. My mom responded with a monotone, “yes” and I was off. I wrote in blue pen on my white wall the phrase: “mreeshpep.” Then, I rushed downstairs and pulled my mom up to see my masterpiece. She initially became furious, but after I told her that she agreed to my endeavour, she forgave me and said it was her fault. I offered to stick a piece of white paper on the wall to cover it up, but to no avail. So, now you know that there is a poorly written random word on the wall, under my bed, which is really my mom’s fault, because she was oblivious to what I had asked.

2) She Has an Intense Love of Sleep

My mother loves sleep. She loves it so much that I find myself contemplating if she loves it more than me! As soon as she comes home from work she does her immediate clothing ritual that you now know about, then hops in bed for a good hour. After her power-nap she comes downstairs, puts on her bathrobe and does some more work. After a while of that, she has dinner and goes upstairs for her final sleep. For someone who loves sleep, you would imagine that she likes to stay asleep to the last possible minute until she gets up for work the next day. Well, you thought wrong! My mother wakes up at 5:15 am! And she doesn’t even leave the house till 8 am! That’s a whopping 2:45 hours to get ready in the morning! I mean I do have to give her the benefit of the doubt. She tells me she spends 2 hours doing work related stuff in that time. (In her bathrobe!)

1) She Only Likes to Eat Scrambled Eggs and Rye Toast for Dinner

If you don’t know already, my mom does not cook. The only thing she can cook is scrambled eggs. And she only eats scrambled eggs with rye toast. Since my mom does not cook, we have to rely on our nanny, Aecel, to prepare our meals. Nine times out of 10, when Aecel cooks one of the meals from a recipe that we pre-order from a delivery service, my mom will take one bite, put down her fork, and just get up and makes herself her favourite meal. No one even asks why she does that anymore. We just accept it. Rebecca does what Rebecca wants.
But with all my mom’s quirks, I think it’s safe to say that she is an incredible mom, and I am thankful to have her in my life. Love you Mom! Hope I didn’t embarrass you!

Rowan Chetner is in Grade 9 and attends The Bishop Straughn School. She wrote this piece on Bring Your Kid To Work Day.