I Really Don’t Mind if You Bail on Me

We’ve only just really started making plans again. But I’m going to be real here. I’m going to say what I can pretty much guarantee most moms reading this think on a regular basis. Those cancelled plans your friend feels super guilty about bailing on? You’re actually really, truly, totally okay with it.

Not only do you give no effs that they cancelled, you’re probably also relieved. You’re perfectly happy staying in your comfy pants watching TV. Right?

Here’s why I don’t care if you bail on me; I’m tired. All mothers are tired, so many of us really, truly are relieved if you bailed on plans we’ve made weeks ago or even a day before.

It’s not the kind of tired as if I had a bad sleep. Though, I’m also that kind of tired. I’m tired from keeping my kids alive, my house upright, and my finances afloat. I’m tired from remembering all. The. Things. and making sure there’s food for lunches and forms signed and field trips paid for and parties RSVPed for.

Even if I didn’t have All. The. Things, I’m old. I’m not 22 anymore. Long gone are the days I can go out and party and come home in the wee hours and not be paying for it for days later. Gone are the days when I’m already looking like I could throw on shoes and meet a friend for dinner at any given time. And, I’m not saying I was ever cool, but I’m anti-cool now. I’m lame. I’d rather my comfy reading socks over heels any day of any second of any hour of the week.

Writer Leslie Kennedy and friends. (It’s okay if they bail).

I’m not anti-social. I’m not a hermit. Sometimes, I think I’m just plain lazy. Going out takes work. I have to try to look presentable. I have to get out of my yoga pants, cover my blotches, and fix my ‘fro. I have to excavate in my drawers to find a shirt that I feel like wearing and that makes me not look like a frumpy bag of mess. Once I’m dressed I have to actually leave my house to get to where we’re going. And then after we have our fun I have to get home. It’s just so much work.

Don’t get me wrong, I won’t turn down plans. I’ll be super duper excited when we make them. I can’t wait to see you. We don’t get to spend enough time together. Such is life, these days. We all have a million things on the go. It’s just that, when the day of our plans arrives, when I’m doing all the things and in my comfy yoga pants and fuzzy socks, I’m going to look at my couch and think, ‘Man, it just looks so mushy and cozy.’ I’m not going to lie to you. I’m gonna think it, and feel it, and mean it.

Honestly, I love you, my friends. I want to see you. And once I drag my lazy, jean covered ass out of the house, into the car and to wherever we’re going, I’m going to be so thrilled to see you, and so glad I fixed my hair and left my house. I’ll love every second we’re together and hate parting ways. I’ll have a total blast and will end the night by saying I can’t wait to see you again, and I’ll mean it. Because I love and appreciate you. I’ll be glad we made plans.

I’ll be glad I put on pants.

So fear not, if you bail on this mother. Don’t feel guilty and think that I am mad or disappointed or upset. I assure you, we’ll reschedule.

I’m just as happy not putting on pants.