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The Habit: Needing company to fall sleep
We can't stop you from making New Year's resolutions no matter how much we tell you you're fabulous enough. But we can encourage you to follow these 12 resolutions this year.
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No More Keeping Up with the Joneses
Kid culture can be crazy. Mortgaging the house for the latest high-tech nasal aspirator might sound like madness, but it's easy to get swept away seeing everyone else so well equipped. (We're talking to you, iPad mini.) And don't even get us started on the preschool educational products that promise a smart baby. Your baby is already smart—they picked you as a parent, right?
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No More Kid Comparisons
At age 3, their child was reading The Wind in the Willows, while yours was showing some (passing) wind-related skills of his own. There is much peace to be gained as a parent when you can admire another child's achievements without worrying about your own child measuring up.
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No More Sweating the Small Stuff
Being five minutes late for a 30-minute swimming lesson can rattle the most collected of parents, but putting it in perspective can prevent a major meltdown. (We're talking about yours, not your child's.) Some things are worth stressing about. Some just aren't.
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No More Inconsistencies
If you've ever accidentally interchanged the word ‘tyrant' for ‘toddler,' you're in the throes of raising one. A gentle but firm command of how to deliver clear and consistent discipline will pay dividends later on. There is no golden rule to follow—just choose one that feels right and stick to it. Trying something new each month doesn't work. So, toe the line (with lots of love).
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No More Food Obsessions
No mother was ever sainted for spending hours pureeing organic squash—though there's no question good food is great for your baby. If you love the homemade approach, have fun with it. Pre-made or a mix (no pun intended) of both, do what works for you. Either way, knowing what's best for you is usually best for you both.
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No More Germaphobia
Having kids means getting used to being bugged all the time. Not just for another glass of milk or to find the banana they left in their room last week (what?). We mean the kind of bugs that leave all of you sick for a week. Kids will get ill. Sanitize and take the reasonable steps, but don't foster a fear of the potential dangers of all people, surroundings and surfaces.
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No More Saying 'I Would Never'
Speaking from vast amounts of experience, words that may come back to haunt you as a parent include 'I would never.' That's code for mommy judging and the next time you fly, have a long wait in a doctor's office or lose your cool in the car, you may see how quickly your standards slip.
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No More Labelling Kids
Johnny might be an angel and Julian more of a ‘curious' child, but labels limit kids and say something to them both consciously and subconsciously (and not usually in a good way). Abstaining from the ‘see, your sister isn't shy' type of scenario can help keep kids confident in who they are turning out to be.
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No More Self-Deprecation
Maybe your postpartum waist isn't as whittled down as you would have liked, possibly you can't quite capture the perfect swaddle at naptime. So what? Seems to us the most significant job on earth has to be raising, nurturing, protecting, releasing, enabling, overseeing and supporting another small human (or two, or three) 24/7. And you're doing it. Bravo.
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No More Frustrations
Living with little people can, on occasion, be extraordinarily frustrating. Which is why bedtime is the new definition of ‘happy hour' in your home. Try and save some last minutes of positivity for the special moments that might normally try your patience—like your son sneaking down just for an extra good night hug and kiss.
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No More Super-Mom Syndrome
Lighten up, sister. Consuming yourself with keeping a super-clean house, the kids cutely dressed and yourself a model of excellent grooming, you'll probably lose sight of what's really important or really funny when it comes to enjoying your kids. They won't remember the clean counters, but they will remember your belly laughs as they ran around the room naked.
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No More Ignoring Number One
Remember single you or married-with-no-kids you? She's awesome. She's fun. She needs to come around a little more. Not that you're not all those things as a mom, but good moms like you tend to put everyone else first. Make a date with that other self (and a couple of great girlfriends too) and spend some quality time reconnecting with someone critically important to your overall happiness—the real you.