There is no denying my sister and I are simpletons. We put it out there time and time again. We increasingly feel challenged by our children, and have moments when parenting can be a bit tricky. Sometimes we just don’t know what to say or how to handle situations. I think that is why we developed the habit of talking to our kiddles in Top 40 Hits. You can only say ‘no’ so many times and sometimes it just feels good to say things in song. Plus, if you really think about it, we are giving our kids a lesson in culture, expanding their musical prowess.
On any given day you can hear me saying, “Hey, Nate dog, where’s G-Child?” That might be why my kids spend a lot of time looking confused and not knowing what is going on. While I should address my children in a more mature manner, throwing a lyric at them when they are giving me some attitude is too much fun. It confuses them, it shows them that, ‘Guess what? I know more than you.’
If a child is giving you the stink eye, why not say: “Hey I see what you’re doing there: Vogue, strike a pose”.
When they are hanging off of you, jungle gym style, a quick hammer-time with “Can’t touch this” comes in handy.
When my daughter acts like a whiny mofo, I serenade her with “Don’t cry for me Argentina”.
If my kids won’t cooperate while I am trying to get out the door, a simple “Hey hey, you you, get into my car.” Not only is it getting the message across, but Billy Ocean really lifts the mood.
Here are some big hits and how they come in handy:
Montell Jordan’s “This Is How We Do It” – When your child needs to learn something new or directions with a task, you throw this at them.
Gloria Estefan’s “Turn the Beat Around” – If your child is going down the wrong path, spazzing and losing their sh*t, they need to turn their beat around, and fast.
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers “Don’t Do Me Like That” – When your child forgets their manners and is trying to humiliate you.
Erasure’s “Respect” – this one is easy, they have a bit of a ‘tude and are trying to tough-talk you, try: “Oh baby please, give a little respect, to me.”
The Ting Tings “That’s Not My Name” – This one is obvious. When they have said Mom more times than you can count, you need to sing this out loud.
It is totally reasonable to modify a lyric here and there, if need be. For instance, if your child has an accident of some sort, Human League’s “Human” comes in handy when changed to “you’re only human, of flesh and blood, you’re made.”
When my children finish cleaning up and ask if it is a job well done, I throw some Cyndi at them: “It’s good enough, for me, it’s good enough for me, it’s good enough, good enough for me, yayayayayaaaa.” I use this song so much that I now just say, “Dude, it’s Goonies”, and the children get it.
Give it a try. It’s liberating.