Kids need structure—they crave it, according to the experts. And what happens when you shake up that structure and introduce the kind of change that even mature and responsible adults (like us) can’t handle? Well, I can tell you from personal experience this past week that your child will turn into someone you have never seen before. But if it does happen to you, don’t panic because you will get your child back soon enough.
This past week my 10 year-old son switched schools—yes, mid-year. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I thought he would accept it and embrace the challenge like any new sport or team he has joined in the past. Like going to camp, maybe?
Not so much.
Apparently, I forgot about the structure part of life that we had supported for so long. I forgot that he had been in the same school for seven out of his 10 years—that’s almost a lifetime for him. So we considered for a few days—is the change too much? Or is it actually a good thing? Will the anxiety of adapting to a new environment be damaging or affect his learning process?
When we told him the news, he went from being the nicest kid in the world to the craziest kid in the world. Clearly, just thinking about the change was too much for him. We knew the only way for him to accept it was to get him into the classroom and learn from experience. Sure enough, we are on day five and he has figured it out. There have been a few tears and a lot of (very) loud discussions, but we are through the worst of it.
As parents, we are reminded that change is a reality of life. Whether you think it’s a good thing or a bad thing, our kids benefit from learning how to navigate through it at some stage. There will be a time for most parents when we are faced with making a tough decision on behalf of our children that we feel is right, but that we know they won’t understand. Those are the toughest decisions to make and even tougher to execute because they usually involve some kind of change.
The best advice I received through our process was to follow my instincts and stick to my convictions. I’m glad I did.
Tell me a tough love story of yours. I am interested to hear it.
Comments
I can relate to your story. I have four children. A few years ago my second daughter had to change schools in the third term of her year and then again the following September. Our story is not unlike yours. Another story I can share with you is about my twin boys (now 7). When they began JK I made the decision to seperate them and put them in two different classes. This was difficult for them - tears daily from one son. But the other son craves his independence and has a greater need to be with other kids. They did and do see each other many times throughout the day at school and at recess and they spend almost every minute of the day together when they are not in school! One son is just more insecure than the other. I know that in the long run it is better for them to be apart, even on the days when I came home crying, feeling their pain. More than once I almost gave in and let them be in the same class but stuck to my guns and didn’t cave! It is much easier for them now, in grade 2, but it was a few years of tough love! Thanks for sharing your story.
Hazel
Yikes. That must have been difficult on all of you. Congrats though for working it through as a team - I can just see you having your “loud” discussions though. Best of luck for the remainder of the school year to all!
MM
Post a Comment
Our Commenting Policy
Manners are important to moms. So it won’t surprise you that at SavvyMom Media we try our best to keep the discussion respectful. While we hope you will share your thoughts in the comments, we ask that you keep it clean. Please avoid all profanity, derogatory terms, advertising/spam, and unsubstantiated personal attacks. If you see a comment that you feel is abusive, please .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).
We promise not to delete your comments unless they violate these terms, though we sincerely hope we won’t have to make that decision. For more detail on our commenting policy and procedures, please see our complete Community Guidelines