Are your kids still crawling into bed with you? How do you encourage them to sleep on their own?
This is an emotional issue for parents. When tired, we either get in a midnight power struggle and/or eventually give in. Deciding what you want for your family should happen in the cold light of day, not in the middle of the night. If having the kids in your bed works for you, then don’t change it, but know that you are establishing a habit. You are clearly stating your expectations through your actions. If and when you decide that your kids need to sleep on their own, don’t let fear stand in your way.
Sleep is a gift that lasts a lifetime. You can’t make your kids sleep (which is the reason this is such an issue in the first place) BUT, children are capable of learning to keep their head on the pillow, lie quietly and wait for sleep to come. The big issue is when parents interfere with the child’s capability to put themselves back to sleep; our actions are teaching them that they can’t do it.
So how do you give the gift of sleep? The end result is the same but how you get there is up to you.
Set up a plan that is right for your family:
Whatever the plan, you need to know it first and be consistent with the follow up, especially if you involve your kids as well. Let them know the script (what you’ll say when they’re in your room, what strategies they will use when they’re waiting for sleep).
And have a good night’s sleep.
Is it reasonable for my child to sit at the table for a whole meal? How do I get him to stay there?
Children need to learn to sit at the table along with other social skills that they aren’t born with. When teaching our children, we start by understanding our key values (courtesy, peacefulness, respect, and self-discipline) and our long-term vision for our children (polite, healthy, and interdependent). Once we know where to start and where we are going, setting clear expectations becomes easier.
Discuss the full plan with your child ahead of time. Set an expectation that he sits to eat his food and then remains at the table for a slightly extended period of time. Engage him in conversation or give him a choice of crayons, paper, or Cheerios (if he has eaten his meal) to extend the time. Set him up for success by making the time just slightly longer than he currently sits. Over the next few weeks, lengthen the duration by short amounts. Four year-olds should be able to sit for 20–30 minutes—presuming they have learned how to do this.
Be aware of what is happening during dinner:
With a little patience and effort, meal time can become a true family affair.
Wow! Some fantastic advice here. Especially the first one… “It is hard to sit and eat when already full.” The kitchen closes at four (at least to my kids). There’s no snacking after that, otherwise they’re not hungry for dinner AND less likely to try new things.
Comments
I like the suggestions given here, apart from the monster spray! I think this feeds into the notion that monsters exist, confirming the fear as a valid one. What would happen if you forgot to spray one night?! I simply repeat (sometimes several times) that there is no such thing as monsters.