Kathy Buckworth

Kathy Buckworth’s latest book, Shut Up and Eat: Tales of Chicken, Children and Chardonnay is available in bookstores everywhere. Visit her online at www.kathybuckworth.com or follow along with her frazzled adventures on Twitter.
Kathy Buckworth
December 21, 2009
Kathy Buckworth
Kathy Buckworth Books

“What’s for dinner, Mom?” Something nasty you’re going to hate.

Is there any question more hated by moms than this? In my house, with four voices (five if you count my husband and eliminate the ‘Mom’ tag) constantly calling this out to me on a seemingly well-timed rotation from the minute they walk through the front door, I have narrowed my response to the following (learned through trial and error):

  1. “Chicken, vegetable and potato”. (I mean, really, what else is there?) To which they respond:
    1. Again?
    2. The gross kind of chicken?
    3. Can I just eat my leftover lunch?
    4. What’s a potato?
  2. “Leftover Buffet!” Their return volley:

    1. Is it that gross chicken again?
    2. Is there ketchup?
    3. ‘Leftover’ does not tell me anything, MOTHER.
    4. Can I go to Liam’s house? His Mom’s a good cook.
  3. “I just got in. What do you think we should have?” (Why, oh why did I ever go there…)

    1. Something good for a change.
    2. Pizza. But not the gross kind YOU make.
    3. Why did you ask him? Why don’t I get to pick? (Whack) He sucks! MOM!
    4. You always ask that and then you always get to pick anyway. It’s not fair.
  4. “Something nasty and you’re going to hate it.” (Really there can be no response to this as they all agree.)

So I’ve learned that, once again, as with Parent/Teacher interviews, just don’t ask the questions you really don’t want the answers to. Now what the hell should I make for dinner tonight? Oops, just did it again.

| Tagged under kids, books, dinner
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Kathy Buckworth
December 14, 2009
Kathy Buckworth
Christmas Family

December is often the worst month of the year for moms. Not only are we expected to do things like dress our children warmly, make sure they know not to eat yellow snow or stick their tongues to metal things, we are also supposed to navigate the entire family through the holiday season, smiling and spreading good will and cheer while bestowing gifts upon all who have deigned to serve us during the year.

Yes, well, whatever.

The typical Mom barely has time to suppress a lascivious smile while watching teenage vampires on-screen, let alone manufacture a genuine look of pleasure during the third and final 90-minute performance of her child’s “Night of Holiday Stars” concert at the overcrowded and over-videoed school gym.

So for this holiday season, I’m trying to stick to a few routines that will hopefully see me through this hectic time, without forgetting some of the basics. For example:

  • The following things do not take a holiday: Canada’s Food Guide, Recommended Daily Allowances (it sounds official, but not entirely sure what it refers to…work with me), Teethbrushing, Handwashing, Flossing and Exfoliation. Just cuz Jack Frost is on the scene, doesn’t mean Jack Plaque isn’t.
  • Kids still need feeding, bathrooms still need scrubbing, dishes still need washing and laundry still needs doing. Finding yourself standing over your child with a toilet brush saying “Open wide” while you wipe down the counter with your cashmere sweater is a good sign you’re not quite as organized as you might like to be.
  • Santa isn’t watching YOU, just the kids. Go ahead and do it…whatever it was you were going to feel guilty about (i.e. anything which isn’t about the kids).

Basically the holiday season is just like every other time during the year—it’s all about them, and not about you, so just put on a grin and get on with it.

 

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