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How can I tell if I’m experiencing Postpartum Depression?
There are a number of ways to differentiate between Postpartum Blues, (mild feelings of depression and anxiety that typically appear within the first one-to-two weeks of giving birth) and Postpartum Depression (more severe and persistent feelings of depression and anxiety that typically show up anytime from a few weeks to two years after the birth of a baby).
(Note: Postpartum Blues used to be called “Baby Blues”, but health care providers are increasingly using the term “ Postpartum Blues” to steer clear of any implication that baby is to blame for how mom is feeling.)
Here is where to start:
It is important to seek treatment, because if left untreated, Postpartum Depression can lead to difficulties in bonding or caring for your baby. That, in turn, can lead to delays in your baby’s development. It can also put major stress on your relationship with your partner. The sooner you recognize the symptoms of Postpartum Depression in yourself and reach out for help, the sooner things can start to get better.
Your poor liver never gets any attention; it is a total wallflower who just quietly takes what you have to dish out. Overlooking this gem is a big mistake because it supports you in more than 500 ways. You can’t live without it and living with a clean liver gives you more energy, helps control your weight and cholesterol levels plus makes you look and feel better. On top of that, it regulates sex, thyroid and stress hormones. Fear not, some of the things that you can do to protect this critical organ are already things you are doing to protect your heart. That said,
some of the ‘don’ts’ may surprise you, but they are as easy as pie (or, for clarity, easy as avoiding pie).
The liver acts like a filter in a fish tank. Have you ever seen a fish tank that has been neglected? The water is murky, filled with detritus and it smells. Everything that you eat, every medication that you take, every breath of toxic air and, yes, sip of alcohol you take has to go through the liver to be processed and eliminated.
Here are the top do’s and don’ts to keep your liver working at peak performance.
What to Avoid:
Scared yet?
There is good news about beautiful food that can protect and prevent liver damage. It’s not all about avoid, avoid, avoid…
What to Enjoy:
When you take a step back and look at it, these tips make good old common sense and good eating. The difference is that now you know what they are doing for you in addition to making dinner more pleasurable.
Thank you for writing this article. My doctor asked me how much alcohol I drink? He was shocked when I told him none. He indicated that my liver count was off during my last blood test. I am undergoing more testing to define the problem but will follow your suggestions for detoxifying my liver by adding some of the foods to my current diet.
A new year is a great excuse for starting fresh. My fresh start for 2012 is to begin the process of letting go of some of my mothering responsibilities. Now that my children are older (12 and 20) and fully capable of making their own beds, for example, or bringing their laundry hampers into the basement, I’ve decided to step back so that they can step forward. After all—I remind myself—am I really doing them a favour in the long run by always doing for them what they can do for themselves?
I want to be clear that I don’t think there’s anything wrong with ‘doing’ things for them. If my daughter is studying in her room, there’s nothing wrong with surprising her with a cup of hot chocolate and cookies, even though she can boil the kettle and make a snack herself. Nothing wrong with offering to drive her to a friend’s because it’s cold out and she’d otherwise have to take the bus. These are examples of ways I can show how much I care. They differ, however, from feeling that I have to take responsibility because I think that it’s my obligation to do so, or taking responsibility because I fear being blamed if I somehow don’t perform in a way that has become expected. It’s about doing because I want to, not because I feel I have to.
My first step back means that I have to make sure that both of the girls’ alarm clocks are in good working order and that they knew how to set them. Who am I kidding? They are more adept at making electronic things operational than I’ll ever be. My next step involves sharing my intentions with them. Not in a way that makes them feel as if they are being punished, but in a loving, caring way. So, I told them: “I love you guys and I certainly don’t want to see you being late for school, but I’m also tired and stressed about having to nag you to get out of bed in the morning. So, I’m giving you advance warning that, as of the first day of school, I won’t be waking you up anymore. It will be your responsibility to set your alarm and get yourselves up with sufficient time to get out of the house on time. I figure that you are more than capable of doing that.”
The response wasn’t too favourable. Turns out they like being woken up by me, even when I’m frustrated. My older daughter asked if I could at least come in once and promised that I wouldn’t have to come back in. My younger daughter said how much she enjoyed snuggling with me in the morning. I almost stepped back into the ring, but I held back and stood my ground. As I write this, I am still feeling strong. I know that it will take nerves of steel to remain this way, especially as I see the clock ticking closer to the morning bell at school. I know that if I give in—even once—that the exception will become the rule and I will have blown my opportunity for a fresh start.
I figure that once I have remained resolute and steadfast in my attempt to encourage them towards greater independence, I can then move onto other areas. The possibilities are endless. Imagine—I may even get them to make their own school lunches or order pizza for the family.
When children are given more personal responsibility, they learn about accountability—such as when they sleep in, arrive late to school and have to explain why, or when they don’t complete their homework on time and have to stay in during recess to complete it. Their self confidence and self worth is also enhanced as they become more self reliant. They feel proud of being able to take care of themselves, proud to be ‘cleaning up’ after themselves and proud about becoming increasingly self reliant. My bet is that another positive side effect to pulling back is that, along the way, your children will show more appreciation when you do offer your help. When your time is more of a privilege than an expectation, they appreciate you doing for them rather than being disappointed or angry when you don’t.
Now, just don’t tell your children I told you so!
The January 7 birth of Blue Ivy Carter, the first child of R&B royal couple, Beyonce Knowles and Jay-Z, has opened the floodgates for this year’s baby boom in Hollywood. Next up? Superstars Jessica Simpson and Hilary Duff are both expecting bundles of joy in early 2012.
And what about you? Thinking about starting a family of your own this year? Well, you’d better hold onto your handbag, honey!
Having a baby is a beautiful, life-changing experience. Unfortunately, it’s also an extremely costly endeavour. From maternity clothes to diapers, daycare to college, having a baby is a big investment. If you’re going to be a new parent soon or are planning to have a baby, here’s roughly what you can expect to spend during the nine months leading up to your due date (and beyond).
Prenatal Diet ($100s to $1000s)
Although it’s easy to get excited about the countless things you can buy your newborn, tiny UGGs are not a necessity. Stop thinking about things and instead start investing in your health. Prenatal care is essential both before and throughout your pregnancy. This is what will help ensure a healthy delivery and a healthy baby.
Prenatal vitamins are the building blocks of any prenatal diet. Women of childbearing age (even those who aren’t planning on starting a family) should invest in a standard multivitamin. Find one that contains folic acid (this nutrient helps prevent some common birth defects and is a main ingredient in doctor-prescribed prenatal vitamins). Over-the-counter options cost between $10 and $20. Most health insurance plans should cover any specialty nutrients prescribed by your Ob/Gyn.
Your baby literally depends on your body for essential nutrients, so maintaining a healthy diet while pregnant is critical. As such, expect that your grocery bill might just double. Instead of filling your diet with starchy and fatty foods, opt for fresh fruits, vegetables, and yogurt. Avoid highly processed foods and try to stay away from unhealthy restaurants. This new diet may put a cramp on your budget, but healthy eating is one expense you simply cannot avoid.
Maternity Leave ($10,000s)
Working women should brace for a major pay cut during the first year of motherhood. While some companies offer extensive parental leave packages, most provide only basic coverage that abides by Canada’s Employment Insurance program. As of January 1, 2012, these benefits cover only 55% of your average insurable weekly earnings, up to the amount of $45,900. That’s a maximum of $485 per week.
Capital Costs of Having a Child ($100s to $1,000s)
Cribs, strollers, changing tables, car seats—first-time moms need to purchase a lot of essential care items during the months leading up to their due date. Luckily, there are ways to save when it comes to purchasing these big-ticket items:
The Stuff You Can’t Live Without ($1,000s over an ongoing period)
Babies go through a lot of ‘stuff’—diapers, formula, clothing, toys; the list goes on and on. And while you want your child to have the absolute best, it’s critical that you stop and consider your household budget before you start buying everything at the designer baby boutique. Newborns grow—fast. So don’t waste your money investing in exorbitantly priced outfits. Discount stores and hand-me-down items will look just as good without costing you an arm and a leg. Gently used toys are another great way to keep your budget in check. If you’re environmentally minded, consider investing in washable diapers rather than the expensive disposable variety. Finally, talk to your doctor about formula options. This is one area where you don’t want to be stingy, especially if your baby has special dietary needs.
Looking to the Future ($10,000s)
The two biggest future costs to consider when pregnant are childcare and educational savings. Saving for your baby’s future is somewhat easy, if you can afford it. RESPs (Registered Education Savings Plans) require relatively small but consistent contributions. Automatic deposits will make saving for your child’s college education a no-brainer.
Childcare can be a bit more difficult. In most major Canadian cities, formal daycare can cost as much as $1,000 a month. Home daycares are slightly more affordable, averaging around $750 a month.
Luckily, daycare is a tax-deductible item, so make sure to claim it on your taxes.
Oh Baby, You’re Worth It!
Whether you’re R&B royalty or just a regular first-time mom, it’s important that you take the time to plan your pregnancy, both from a health perspective and a financial standpoint.
Rest assured, you may have to forsake your designer clothes for the price of raising a little one, but you will never doubt that it’s absolutely, unequivocally…worth it.
I had a quick glance at this article as in addition to being relatively new parents, I also returned to work only part-time which is a significant change for us in terms of income. In the section “Stuff you can’t live without” I was pleased to see that the use of cloth diapers was mentioned however I was very, very disappointed that there was NO mention of breastfeeding as a cost-saving option - never mind a very healthy one for both mom and baby! While I recognize that some moms & babies cannot or do not breastfeed for a wide variety of reasons, many can and while there may be more effort involved at the beginning, it is both a money and time saver overall. While most breastfeeding moms like to have a small number of bottles on hand, some nursing “wear” and a good pump, none of these items are absolutely essential to good breastfeeding, and both bottles and nursing clothes can often be purchased used. The only real cost is related to mom needing extra calories and good diet, a habit that as you mentioned, should be started in pregnancy. And further, even those who are experiencing breastfeeding difficulties can have access to a lactation consultant free or for little charge at various well baby clinics. I hope that you might consider adding this to your discussion, or future articles; again, I recognize that this is not an option for everyone, but for those on the fence, this information may be very relevant!
I’m very surprised that the author doesn’t mention breastfeeding as a way to be budget conscious (as well as all the other benefits). Bottles, formula (as mentioned) etc is a huge expense and breastfeeding is essentially free!
Whether you’re in the planning stages, growing into your chic maternity wear or have a little one in the nursery already, you know that being a parent changes everything. So while you may wonder if you’ll ever fit into your skinny jeans again (you will), you wonder more about your baby’s future, how to give your child the best of everything and how to protect your entire family. By putting the right plans in place from the get-go, you can stop worrying about the what-ifs.
Part of raising kids is letting them make mistakes. As they get older, their mistakes will grow right along with them. (Case in point: Cutting a doll’s hair at age four is way less serious than getting a crush’s name tattooed on one’s back at 18. Agree?)
But life is full of surprises—some pleasant, some not so much. And it’s the ones that change your child’s life forever that you worry about the most. Since you and your spouse (or partner) are your child’s primary providers, you must think of the unthinkable: what if something happens to one or both of you, or even your child?
Sure, it’s hard to think about. But the best thing you can do is have a plan in place to protect your family. Here’s what you need to know.
You Need Life Insurance
First, get enough life insurance for you and your spouse/partner to provide long-term financial security for your family. This is important because life insurance can:
Ensure all of your debts would be covered should something happen to you or your spouse/partner. Like most young families, you probably have few investments and large debts (a mortgage, car loan and outstanding credit card debt, for example).
Replace a breadwinner’s lost income or pay for childcare should either parent die, ideally until the children reach 18 years of age or older.
Cover funeral expenses and buy the time needed for a grieving family to adjust to the loss of a parent.
You may also consider securing a basic term life insurance policy and/or critical illness policy for your child. Why would they need it? It starts them on a financial path early on and ensures that they can build on that plan and not get denied coverage down the road should they get ill — as you pray they won’t — at a young age. Your insurance provider/financial planner can guide you in the right direction.
You Need Up-to-Date Wills
You and your spouse/partner need to have valid, up-to-date wills. If you don’t, your estate will be divided according to provincial laws, which may not reflect your wishes. An up-to-date will allows you to:
Appoint a representative to administer your estate. Depending on where you live, your representative may be called an executor, estate trustee or liquidator. This person or company is responsible for settling with creditors and distributing your assets according to the terms of your will. It’s a good idea to name an alternative representative in case your first choice is unable or unwilling to accept the duties.
Appoint a guardian, or “tutor” in Quebec, to care for your dependent children.
Set up a testamentary trust within your will. A trust allows you to leave instructions as to how certain estate assets are to be managed over time, rather than giving them to a beneficiary outright. For instance, you might set up a testamentary trust to provide regular income or to pay for post-secondary education for your children and manage their assets on their behalf until they reach a specified age.
You Need Powers of Attorney
A will is vital, but it doesn’t come into effect until you pass away. You also need to consider the possibility of becoming seriously ill or disabled and unable to make financial decisions. In that case, you want to protect your property and your personal care. Here’s why:
To protect your property. To protect against this contingency, you need a continuing power of attorney for property. (In Quebec, it’s called a mandate in anticipation of incapacity.)
To protect your personal care. Similarly, a power of attorney for personal care enables you to name someone to make decisions about your medical care.
Get the Right Advice
Life insurance, wills and powers of attorney are the building blocks of your estate plan. With professional advice, you can use them to protect your family now and in the future.
Yes, it can be complicated. Yes, it can be a difficult conversation to have. But the peace of mind that comes with having a plan of protection in place is priceless.
All this to think about and your child hasn’t even started driving, dating—or perhaps even moved beyond diapers—yet! Just remember that having an estate plan in place helps ensure you can give your children the best of everything. And isn’t that what every parent wants?
It happens to the best of us—that 3 pm crash that feels like you are dragging death from the ankles. Not the best way to pick up the kids from school, or show up at that end-of-day meeting. What you really want is a nap and, in this sleep-starved time, that’s what you should have. But, is that realistic? You know what you should do is take a brisk walk in the crisp air (ya, I’m laughing too) and a few quiet moments to yourself, but what you will do is grab one more cup of that crutch that we love so much.
Nope, once you hit the wall, there is no way around it, if only you could find a way to prevent it.
It’s actually not that hard, but it does take awareness earlier than you would think.
Step 1: Have a high-protein/high-fibre breakfast to prevent the am blood sugar spike which will only lead to a crash. High carbohydrate breakfasts can set you up for a fall later. Adrenaline may get you through the morn but it will poop out on you too…eventually.
Step 2: Manage/measure caffeine intake in the a.m. (no more than two cups). If you can switch to tea or lightly brewed green tea, you can sip, sip, sip your way through the day. The bigger smash of caffeine from a cup of coffee will only let you down at the wrong time.
Step 3: Have complex carbohydrates at lunch (brown rice, whole wheat). They are slow burning fuels that help you make serotonin which will keep you feeling relaxed and happy throughout the day. White carbs burn like a flare and we have all watched those peter out; it’s depressing. A high-fat meal will make you sluggish while your body focuses on digesting rather than writing, communicating, thinking, driving, convincing and whatever other adverb you are expected to perform.
Step 4: Include lean protein and high-nutrient vegetables (spinach, red peppers, cabbage, and romaine lettuce). These foods will burn slowly and brightly and help you keep your stress in check.
Step 5: Take a B complex vitamin at lunch time. (It’s my secret weapon.) B vitamins are required to unlock the fuel in carbohydrates and they give you a little lift in energy just when you need it. It is easy to remember to take when they are right there in your desk drawer. A big glass of water will also make sure that this isn’t dehydration dragging you down.
Step 6: Sip on green tea throughout the aft. Lightly brewed green tea has slightly less caffeine that other sources and you will be getting more water per sip. If you use loose-leaf tea, you can rebrew it to get less and less caffeine by the end of day so you can get to sleep at night. (Because, really, getting enough sleep is the key to sustained energy all day.)
Step 7: Have a handful of nuts and fruit around 3 p.m.; think of it as your own private rocket fuel. That donut you are eyeing will only let you down and or make you plump, it is contributing absolutely nothing. On the other hand, the good fats in nuts are fuelling your brain and the fruit provides a refreshing burst of antioxidants and phytochemicals that only want to serve you. If you want to add a square of dark chocolate and a moment of silence to recharge, that’s bankable bonus points for you.
A recent study done by the Albany Medical College, NY and reported to The American Academy of Allergy, Asthma, and Immunology Annual Meeting suggests that there is a common mis-perception around breastfeeding and its impact on a child’s potential allergies. There is plenty of evidence that breastfeeding is best for the infant. (But, in my opinion, this is only true as long as it works for Mom.) Nutritionally, breast milk is the perfect food with added benefits but socially, financially, logistically and physically; only Mom can make that decision with each child and every time.
Everyone is aware of the benefits including:
So what’s new in this field? There is a misconception that the breastfeeding moms should avoid the top allergens in order to prevent the child from developing a sensitivity. This idea never really made sense to me since an allergic reaction is an immune response and we already know that breastfeeding is good for immunity. Now this small study has provided a clue and pointed in a direction to help moms choose.
This study tested the immune response of infants in two categories: moms who ate the top allergens (wheat, dairy and peanuts), and those who avoided it. What they found was that the infants of the “avoiding mothers” were more susceptible to allergy than “non-avoiding mothers”. The current hypothesis is that the mother ingests the food and develops an immune response herself and then passes that strength on to the child. This theory just feels right when passed through the common sense-o-metre.
The bottom line remains the same with a little more evidence supporting the breast. If you can and wish to breastfeed, do so knowing that eating allergenic foods passes along the flavour, nutrients and enhanced immunity to your baby.
Hi Sarah,
This research is far too new to make any specific recommendations from. But, as a mom, I would say stop eating them. If you had identified anything else that made your daughter uncomfortable, you would have removed it. A woolen blanket? A sneeze inducing, old stuffed toy? Life is tough enough, right?
Just to note that if you suspect or have confirmed that your little one has a food allergy and you are nursing, you must cut it out of your diet too since the allergen’s proteins are passed through breast milk!
I had a dinner party this weekend. It was a Hunger Games themed dinner party which may or may not have included a “Pin the Arrow on Katniss’ Face” competition. But not all dinner parties have to be that fancy. They’re not as much work as you think.
At my house, inviting people over for dinner works for me on several interesting and often unexpected levels.
(Excerpted from Shut Up and Eat! Tales of Chicken, Children and Chardonnay, Key Porter Books, 2010, Kathy Buckworth)
If I wasn’t moving next week ... hey wait, can I have a *moving* dinner party and get my guests to arrange furniture and unpack as part of a game?
Comments
For a lot of women it’s somewhat difficult to know if what’s being experienced is postpartum depression because everyone’s experience is different. For one person it may be dramatic symptoms and very noticeable changes, whereas for another person (as it was for me) it may be gradual changes in mood and other things. Also, with depression many people very often attribute their fatigue and loss of interest to bouts of laziness and have a hard time admitting and coming to terms with the fact that it is depression because there’s still a stigma attached to depression and no one wants to appear to be weak.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience.