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The first year I met my husband, we had a tomato-growing contest. We spent one lovely spring morning in his backyard, scratching in the earth and planting our seeds (surprisingly romantic). The sprouts took on a symbolic meaning and I poured my energies each weekend into nurturing, weeding, and fertilizing.
He ignored them and watched football most weekends
His tomatoes, planted in a nice spot exposed to sun and rain, were left alone. He checked in on them regularly, making sure they were safe, but not interfering with nature. My tomatoes, flooded with love and nurture, all primped and preened and spoiled rotten, were lousy. His were amazing.
The renovation made me think about the tomatoes because for kids and tomatoes, there is some magic balance between nurture and neglect. (I realize neglect is the wrong word—it sounds ugly but I think that is why I like using it.) Put it this way: there is a fine line between mothering and smothering.
It takes courage to leave your kids alone—more courage than I usually have. If they know they are loved, it’s often the right thing to do. I thank the renovation for forcing me to let the kids fend for themselves more than I otherwise would.
The greatest challenge of parenting is allowing kids to develop self-reliance and independence while knowing they are loved and supported.
I was busy through the renovation and had less hands-on time with the kids. I missed them. It made me really focus on improving the quality of my time with the kids. I made sure it was intense, fun and loving.
The rest of the time they were left to their own devices. Lo and behold, the older two became attentive shepherds to their younger siblings. They developed a whole bunch of games that all five of them could play. They became better friends. The middle boy, following the lead of his older siblings, became a voracious leader. The five year old learned to ride her bike and now explores the neighbourhood on wheels.
I am really proud of them. There is a part of me that thinks if I had had more time last year, they might not be doing as well. Like my husband’s tomatoes, they got just the right amount of love and sunshine—all on their own.
In a perfect world, everyone would be a morning person, up at the crack of dawn, cheery and ready to face the day with their workbags packed and teeth sparkling. But the reality for most families is that mornings are a scramble.
Do you almost lose your mind and voice each morning as you coax, remind and even threaten your kids? The stress can escalate all too quickly and leave a pallor on the rest of the day.
So what can we do to bring more peace and harmony to the mornings? Well, this is going to sound counterintuitive, but you have to give your kids more responsibility and let go of some of your own fears. The fact is, by pestering them, packing their bags and lining up their shoes, you are encouraging them to be dependent on you. So let yourself off the hook (and remember: if they are late, it is not a reflection on you).
An important goal of parenting is to encourage children towards independence. And the younger you start, the better! The more your children can do for themselves and for the family, the more confidence they will have. A good mantra for parents to repeat while making changes is ‘Love, Respect, and Faith’. Love doesn’t mean doing everything for your kids—it means letting go! Respect allows for them to make choices and to experience failure such as forgetting their homework, wearing the wrong shoes or being late. Think of these failures as opportunities to learn. And yes, have faith. They will learn.
Here’s a tried-and-true idea to get you started:
Have a family get-together to discuss the morning routine. Even a child as young as 2 1/2 can participate in creating a routine. When children have a say in creating the routine, they are much more likely to follow it. Make your meeting fun and brief, and remember a special snack can win almost anyone over!
Create a list of the jobs to be done in the morning. For instance, your child’s job is to dress themselves, and organize their pack. Your job is to dress yourself, to prepare breakfast and to call them when it’s ready. (Once only, not every 5 minutes!) With younger children it may be helpful to create a job chart with words and photos of them brushing their teeth, getting dressed and eating their breakfast.
Important tip: include a cuddle with a parent as the first thing they do in the morning. Children that feel cared about are far less likely to act out.
I’m going to go out on a limb, and predict that the first routine you make will not work perfectly. You may even curse the attempt. So agree to try the new routine for a few days only, with a plan to revisit it. Then celebrate what worked and tweak what didn’t! And feel free to comment here on your morning successes, failures and suggestions.
How could any of this be better stated? It couldn’t.
What a pleasure to read all of your stories and terrific ideas!
It reminded me of the importance of both consistency and flexibility in good parenting.
It makes sense that children do better with consistency - it helps them predict their day and establish good habits. However, there are times when flexibility is called for. For instance, if your child is refusing to brush their teeth one morning, it’s better to say “I love you too much to fight about this.” and let it go. You can do an extra good brushing that night.
Of course, if the behaviour becomes a pattern it’s time for a friendly chat (meaning a 2-way conversation not a lecture!) at a calm time to explore how we can make mornings work better.
A little dose of ‘this too will pass’ is helpful self-talk!
And as a mom very wisely reminded us, watching our children grow up and become independent can be bittersweet. :)
If you dove right in after last week’s blog and started working on your family’s morning routine, you may have bumped up against Rule #1 with the kids: things almost always get worse before they get better. Most of us don’t like change. So take it as a good sign and don’t give up.
Rule #1 with parents: WHAT you say and HOW you say it is almost more important than anything else you do. With this in mind, here are some suggestions for working out the kinks and winning over even the most challenging child.
Let the routine be the boss, not you. For instance, have you said something like this to your child recently? “What are you doing? Get in there and brush your teeth or we’re going to be late again!” While this may be true, you’ll have better results with something like this: “It’s five minutes to leaving time, what is it you need to do to be ready?” or “Would you please check the chart and see what you have left to do?” For a younger child, you can ask what happens next in the routine, or say “In our house, we brush our teeth next.” These statements teach your child to focus on the ‘needs of the situation’, and to think for themselves.
Important Tip: Tell your children what you’ll be doing, not what they’ll be doing. For example, instead of “I need you to get downstairs for breakfast.” Say “Mommy’s going down to serve breakfast. I’ll see you there.” Doesn’t mean they’ll jump to it, but you’re no longer hovering which might get you engaged in another struggle. Much more inviting, don’t you think? It works with partners, too!
Next, you’ll want to stop the nagging and the reminding. Allow alarm clocks, the routine chart, and timers to do your former job. Give your young child the timer and ask them to let you know when five minutes is up. Saying it with a word can work like a charm, too: “Breakfast” or “Coats”. Sometimes this wee reminder is all that’s needed to get a child refocused. With children, less is definitely more.
Another great tool to reduce nagging is to tell kids what you are willing to do and not willing to do, in a kind but firm manner. For instance, you’re willing to make breakfast but you’re not willing to remind them every five minutes to eat breakfast. You’re willing to help with zippers and buttons after they’ve put their clothes on.
On a final note, it’s helpful to look at how you measure success. A successful morning doesn’t mean that everything got done and done well. It can mean you respected yourself and children by not jumping in and doing it for them. It could mean you left on time without yelling and using threats, even if this means one of them went to school without breakfast! They’ll learn more from a hungry belly than from all the days of force-feeding them on the way out the door.
The goal in the mornings is not perfection but improvement.
The big bonus when you work on routines with your children? You’re teaching them about cooperation, contributing to others, and you’re moving your child from ego-centric to group-centric. All vital life skills!
To get my pre-preschooler excited about getting ready for daycare, I say things like “I’m going to go give the dogs thrie breakfast. Do you want to come help?” since he loves doing that, it get’s him downstairs without a fuss.
We arrived in Hoi An, a small town about midway up the coast of Vietnam, just a few days before Christmas. If you read my last entry, then you’ll know we had a few ideas up our sleeves about how to pull off a Christmas that wouldn’t disappoint the kids—but we had been unable to do much to prepare. More than four months into our half-year trip and carrying all of our belongings on our backs, it had simply been impossible to buy very much.
And Hoi An did not prove an ideal place to make up for lost shopping time. Now a UNESCO world heritage site whose quaint old city district evokes Paris in its own uniquely Asian (decaying) sort of way, it does draw thousands of tourists and it did make for a beautiful place to spend the holidays. But modern, it is not. There was not a single convenience store or Western-looking shop in sight despite the seemingly hundreds of tailor shops and souvenir stands selling paper lanterns and wooden Buddha figures.
Undeterred, I began with the first order of business: finding a Christmas tree for our hotel room.
I hadn’t seen any shops in Hoi An selling Christmas decorations, but there was a large, artificial Christmas tree in our hotel lobby, and a small one perched on the front desk, so I figured the manager might know where I could get a tree. No luck, though; when I asked, he said he wasn’t the one who’d shopped for them and he was pretty sure they’d come from Danang, a much bigger city about an hour away. If I liked, one of the hotel drivers could bring one back for me later that afternoon, since he was headed that way to bring guests to the airport.
But I was skeptical about being overcharged, and preferred to choose my own. So the manager went off to make some calls, and returned 10 minutes later with a solution: apparently, artificial Christmas trees were available at a Vietnamese bookstore just outside Hoi An’s old city.
Chloe and I set off in a taxi in hot pursuit of a tree. Pulling up at our destination, we found ourselves in front of not just one, but two little shops hawking Christmas paraphernalia. We rounded up tinsel, stickers, craft supplies and gift wrap at the bookstore, then went to the next shop for the tree.
There were at least six sizes available—all on display, all fully decorated with lights—and the little one we liked, about two-and-a-half feet tall, was just $8. The shop itself was tiny (maybe 8’ x 8’), crowded, busy and noisy, so it wasn’t easy getting anyone’s attention. Finally, after waiting near the cash for a while, I was able to communicate by pointing and gesturing that I’d like to buy that little tree.
The shop owner made his way out from behind the cash, walked over to the tree, lightly touched the strand of lights woven into its branches, and looked at me expectantly. I nodded and smiled. He rifled through a shelf beneath the tree, came out with a package of lights, and handed them to me.
I tried again, getting his attention again and this time actually touching the tree’s branches. “Ah,” he said, and led me outside, to where dozens of strands of tinsel hung on display. He pointed to a strand and said, “Hah? Color?” He thought I wanted to buy the tinsel.
I was going to have to get a bit more dramatic. I shook my head, then went back to the little tree and moved my arms up and down vigorously over the entire length of it to show that I wanted the WHOLE TREE. After a few moments, he understood what I wanted. He unplugged the tree, picked it up whole—decorations included—carried it outside, and plunked it down on the middle of the sidewalk in the rain. Chloe and I looked at each other for a moment, incredulous and briefly puzzled, before both of us ultimately burst into laughter. Who could have guessed that the $8 price tag would include lights and decorations, but no box to take it all home in?
Flagging down another cab, Chloe and I rode back to our hotel with the tree in the backseat between us. She named it Milliter.
Procuring Milliter was certainly one of the more memorable events of my holiday this year, but it was just the beginning of an unusual Christmas. Since the former fishing village of Hoi An is now best known for its profusion of silk and tailoring shops, we solved the Christmas stocking problem by getting some made-to-order in a range of red and green silks. We handed those out, gift-wrapped, on Christmas Eve, and the kids were delighted.
We had brought about 30 photos of friends and family from home, and these we taped to a long string of thin, green tinsel that we draped across the wall over the beds. The kids made the rest of the holiday decorations from the motley assortment of craft supplies we’d managed to find—pipe-cleaner snowmen, sticker scenes, and even a second, small Christmas tree created by stacking cut-out paper snowflakes vertically along a toilet-paper roll taped to the floor.
We just needed a few more pieces to complete the traditional Christmas picture. Back at the hotel, I was able to download our favourite Christmas cartoons—Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman and How the Grinch Stole Christmas. After a beautiful Christmas Eve dinner at an old-city restaurant overlooking the river (during which we ate not a single traditional food), we made our way home to watch some of them on the laptop.
With the fast, mostly reliable WiFi connection at our hotel, we were able to visit the NORAD website on Christmas Eve to track Santa’s progress, hustling the kids into bed when we noticed that he was already over Indonesia.
Despite the dismal shopping scene in Hoi An, we managed a respectably large pile of wrapped gifts under that small tree after all: we got four silk sleeping bags made at a fair-trade shop in the old city, and we’d stored away Lego and new books that we’d picked up in Bangkok some weeks back. Other small gifts included bookmarks, a deck of cards, a Buddha figure, a box of M&Ms, and lots of other edible treats, including mangoes, rambutans and chocolate. There were also some lightweight but big-ticket “promise” gifts: certificates for new bunk beds at home, the promise of a puppy (delivered in the form of a fifth, matching silk Christmas stocking), and one “get out of homeschool free” pass for each child.
The kids were a bit discouraged, at first, by the lack of snow on Christmas Day, but perked up when we told them there was none in Toronto this year either. They happily settled for sand castles instead of snow forts, and body surfing instead of sledding.
We had been eagerly awaiting a Christmas package that my sister-in-law in Ottawa had put together and shipped to Hoi An’s main post office for us. We’d hoped it would arrive in time for Christmas, but it got held up until the day we left Hoi An, December 30. This didn’t cause any disappointment for the kids, however, since we hadn’t told them it was coming. Instead, its contents were a magnificent bonus. “This Christmas just keeps on getting better and better!” was Chloe’s response to the additional books and generous stash of candy canes.
I’m not sure what the kids will remember best, years from now, about this unusual Christmas. But it will be a while before I forget what it was like to wrap all those gifts in the same small room as the sleeping children (freaking out the entire time about the possibility of them waking up while all the loot was still scattered across the floor), cutting the wrapping paper with tiny cuticle scissors, making our own gift tags out of plain white paper and stickers, and eventually running out of both wrapping paper and tape altogether. Whew.
I am sure they will always remember this Christmas as the best one ever! And congrats to you for pulling it off!
“Say you’re sorry!” you demand of your angry five-year old who has intentionally pulled his sister’s hair. He stands in silence.
You demand an apology again. He manages an unapologetic “Soooory.”
“No, say it like you mean it,” you say.
He follows up with a more convincing apology, but not nearly as remorseful as you would have liked. You let it go.
What are the chances of your son feeling such remorse that he will not pull his sister’s hair again? What are the chances of his taking the initiative to say sorry the next time it happens? What are the chances of his going off to play having learnt a lesson? I’d say pretty slim to none. Saying “I’m sorry” as a result of having been told to do so, is merely an act of compliance. It does not teach empathy, remorse or encourage positive behaviour.
So, what’s the alternative?
Try this: lower your body so that you are eye to eye with your child and say something like “Pulling hair hurts.” Then, wrap your arms around the child whose hair has been pulled and comfort that child. Once you’ve comforted the ‘victim,’ turn to the ‘aggressor’ and say, “Did pulling your sister’s hair help you get what you needed?” By handling the situation in this fashion, you are allowing your child to see you displaying empathy towards the ‘victim’ and helping your child learn to explore different options.
You may also want to talk about a logical consequence if your child were to choose not to consider other options. You may say something like “I know that you are capable of choosing other options in the future, but if you don’t, then we need to consider what the consequences of your aggressive behaviour will be.”
Logical consequences (which must be relatable to the aggressive behaviour) may include: your child having to play alone for a period of time (following the incident) or of having to re-enact what happened prior to the hair pulling so that he can be helped to come up with different options for handling his frustration or anger.
This type of intervention may take a little longer than demanding and getting a hasty apology, but will likely result in better long-term behaviour and a more positive relationship between you and your child.
Rush, rush, rush. No matter how well organized, there’s always that last minute morning scurry as you check that everyone has their lunch bag and homework signed and then hustle your kids out of the door.
Then there’s pick-up. Some days you bring a snack in the car so they can eat on the way to gymnastics or karate. Other days you plan an early dinner so that they don’t have to swim on a full stomach. Some evenings you’re all too tired to persevere through homework assignments. Even weekends, best for catching up and taking a breath from a hectic schedule, are often filled with extracurricular activities for one or more of your children.
Ideally, my recommendation is for parents to explore as much as time and money will allow before their child goes into grade one since that is when both child and parent may have more free time. After that, it’s best to refine the choices according to your child’s interest and aptitude. I advise parents not to enroll their children in more than two extracurricular activities per week. When choosing activities, you may ask your child to choose one of the two. The second choice may be something that you are inclined towards—an essential life skill such as swimming, for example.
Children, like adults, can feel overwhelmed from always being on the run. By occupying our children every waking moment, we don’t teach them the value of down time and enjoying their own company during quiet moments.
Next calendar year, think about what you want for your child, for yourself and for your family. Instead of piano or dance being that extracurricular activity, make family night the activity instead. Having some time to relax and connect with each other can make all the difference.
When it’s time to introduce your baby to solids, there is no need to feel overwhelmed. Regardless of whether it’s your first or your fourth time, you can make it fun, and it doesn’t hurt to review these simple steps.
What to Feed?
This tends to be the biggest question of all, and recommendations vary widely on what to start with. Iron-fortified rice cereal is the most common recommendation, because it is least likely to cause allergic reactions.
Where to Feed?
This is much more important than you think. You are teaching good eating habits which begin with structure in a common ‘eating’ area. Babies and children like to know what to expect. When they are at the kitchen table, they will learn what to expect and what is expected from them.
When to Feed?
Pediatricians now recommend introducing solids at six months. This is to encourage breast-feeding for longer periods, and research shows that it’s not necessary to introduce solids earlier. Speak with your family doctor, pediatrician or a dietitian if you need some guidance.
How to Make?
Make your own, buy jarred or frozen baby food as you feel comfortable. Give your baby a spoon, too, so they feel they are a part of the experience. Think calm, quiet and consistent:
Introducing solids definitely has its challenges, but by setting proper expectations for both yourself and your baby, you will have more success in the long run.
Regardless of whether your child is a picky eater or an over-eater, there are key nutrients that your child needs on a daily basis. These include Protein, Carbohydrates and Good Fats.
In an ideal world, each meal and snack should consist of the following:
By following these nutritional guidelines right from the start, you can create healthy eating habits for your child that last their lifetime.
Hey Cassie! I read somewhere (or heard somewhere - oh, I think it was last month’s Today’s Parent) that the 50% veg 25% meat 25% starch was right for adults but that kids should have 50% starch, 25% veg and 25% meat. What do you think?
I will catch your site again. I love the thoughts you’ve shared. They are explicitly explained. Thanks for the post. Thanks :)
Five days after our son Beckett was born, he was diagnosed with Trisomy 21, also known as Down syndrome. Those first few days were filled with sadness, fear and questions….the unknown is very frightening. Beckett is almost three now, and he’s healthy, loving, smart and kind. Everyone who meets him falls instantly in love. We knew nothing about Down syndrome but we quickly became experts, as did our family and friends. We didn’t know anyone with Down syndrome, now we know lots of people. Beckett changed a lot of things for us, all for the better.
Here are a few facts about Down syndrome:
Here are some things that really irritate me:
We’re all vulnerable to challenges; no one is immune, no one lives a perfect life. My dreams for Beckett are the same dreams you have for your child. I want him to be happy and healthy—I want him to be everything he wants to be. When I look at Beckett and Zoë, I feel so much love and happiness. My children hold my heart—nothing makes me happier.
Wonderful blog Ms Taggart—very inspiring and full of positives. Thank you for sharing and may you and your family be blessed with love and good health always. If you have any influence in the matter, can you please put in a good word to have “savvymom” changed to “savvyparent” or another gender-neutral name. Today, many so-called “moms” are actually “dads”.
Thanks
It’s nice to see parents full of love & compassion towards their children with Down Syndrome. So many parents are anxious to abort unborn babies with this condition when pre-natal testing indicates Down Syndrome. Pro-life!!!
Does your child have the back-to-school jitters? Do you have a little one going off for the first time? Maybe your child can’t wait to get out the door and you are the one having the ‘empty nest’ panic attack?
No matter what the scenario in your home, the end of summer and back-to-school routine can be stressful. Here are a few ideas to help ease the transition for everyone.
As a final consolation, don’t forget that children almost always manage better once you have disappeared around the corner than when you are still within sight. They pull themselves together and can focus on the task at hand rather than concentrate on missing you. The day will be over before you know it!
There’s a new industry that has emerged as an offshoot of one of the oldest professions in the world. It’s dirty, often takes place late at night behind closed doors, and creates controversy in terms of what’s really right and what’s really wrong. That’s right: Parenthood. But fear no longer, because today it is recognized that just because you actually are a parent doesn’t mean you’re necessarily qualified to be a parent, or that you should be expected to take on said parental duties.
Enter the Baby Concierge.
When I first heard this term, I immediately conjured up an image of the gravelly voice, cigar smoking, diaper-clad gangster baby we met in Bugs Bunny (Baby Face Finster, to be precise), cutting deals for Broadway shows, getting you into the best parties, finding a real sweet deal on some electronics, all from the comfort of his padded stroller. But I did a little research and apparently I should have been thinking more along the lines of a wedding planner.
As the mother of four children, I know the words ‘plan’ and ‘parenting’ really only go together as a birth control strategy, but Baby Concierge services will try to convince you that they can take the stress out of almost everything baby related for you, right from the moment the line on the stick turns blue. From doulas to diapers, nursing to nurseries and post-partum to pre-school, they can find the professional product or service to make your entrance into the world of Mommyhood or Daddydom a piece of baby-shower cake.
While I absolutely admire the intentions of these well-meaning service professionals to aid parents in their time of greatest need (and make a tidy profit as well, which as a capitalist, I also admire), there are some moments I feel that every parent should experience for themselves in order to wear the title parent, and not just Chief Procreation Officer. For instance:
Don’t get me wrong; I’m all for finding new, convenient and easy ways to do things, so perhaps I’m just a tad jealous these services weren’t around when I had a newborn. But in the spirit of growing and learning, I’m going to take a page from Finster’s playbook and find my own padded stroller to operate from. Minus the cigar.
That’s so funny, I especially like the ikea bit because my changing table is a kitchen island bought from ikea!
I feel like I am living in a toy store. How many toys do my kids really need and how do I keep them organized?
The outside world exerts a lot of pressure about buying the ‘right toys’ with claims that they will make children more creative, intelligent or happy. But remember that creativity and intelligence can be encouraged with things we usually have at home. Relying on stuff to make kids happy leads down a very slippery slope.
As parents, you decide which toys are right for your family—not the store or your peers. The decision involves space, budget and values (packaging, violence, body image, etc).
Once you’ve made the decision, it’s time to send clear messages to your children about the toys that will be in your home: they must fit in this shelf space or these bins. If you want something new, you need to give away/sell/donate something to make room. Too many toys mean that kids probably don’t even remember what they have. A good start might be to do the first purge of toys without your kids, hide the toys and see what is missed.
Research shows that children benefit from learning to wait for something they want. Children need to learn frustration tolerance and delayed gratification. Often if a child waits a few days for a toy, she may not even remember or want it. If you struggle with saying no to a child in the moment (read: temper tantrums in stores), make a plan before you even head to the store and be clear. “We’re only buying one birthday present today. If you see anything you want, we’ll put it on a birthday/holiday wish-list.” If your child is shopping to spend allowance money, find out what he’ll give away before the item is bought.
Organize/pitch every few months. Mark it as an appointment on the calendar. Older kids can do this once they see what they don’t use anymore.
Remember, outside stuff doesn’t define us and can often take away from who we really are. It’s a good message for parents to keep in mind and even better to reinforce to our children.
“My child is being bullied at school. What should I do?”
First of all, know that you’re not alone. Bullying is an all-too-common experience. A lot of parents are dealing with the same frustrating—and painful—experience as you are. Here are some tips on getting through this tough time with your child.
Empathize with your child, but do so from a position of strength. Let him/her know that you understand how awful it feels to be bullied—lower than low. At the same time, let him/her know that you’re not totally freaked out by the situation (something that’s easier said than done if you have a long history of being bullied yourself). Your child needs to feel that you can handle this and that you will be a source of support (as opposed to an emotional marshmallow).
Reassure your child. Let your child know that you take the problem seriously and that s/he has your support. Kids need to know that they no longer have to deal with this problem on their own. Teach your child how to respond to a bully (use humour that doesn’t put down the bully) and how to reduce the odds of being bullied in future (by coming across as a less vulnerable target, because bullies are notorious for picking on kids who come across as physically or emotionally vulnerable).
Arrange to meet with your child’s teacher. The school needs to know what is going on so that school staff can keep their eyes and ears open and be prepared to intervene when they suspect that bullying may be taking place. Your child needs to know where s/he can go and who s/he can talk to if s/he is being bullied physically (pushing, hitting), emotionally (name-calling, spreading of rumors), or socially (by being shunned by the group). You might also want to inquire about the types of anti-bullying programs offered by the school. Kids need to learn how to prevent incidents of bullying (by dealing with the underlying issues that can otherwise result in bullying) and how to defuse bullying situations when they first occur—by refusing to give the bully an audience.
Compare notes with other parents at your child’s school. Find out if any of their kids have had problems with bullying. Talk about ways to work together to deal with bullying at school, on the school bus, and online so that you can curb bullying together.
Find someone you can talk to about how you’re feeling. It’s painful to watch your child being bullied. You need an outlet for your feelings so that you can be strong for your child.
Keep strong and remember, you are not alone.
Hi Angela -
I just discovered your comment today. My apologies for being so slow in responding.
In a perfect world, the onus would be on the bully and his parents to resolve the problem. Unfortunately, we are living in an anything-but-perfect world. That leaves the child being bullied and his parents to flag the problem for school officials the majority of the time.
It can be frustrating and exhausting to deal with bullying problems. I hope you can find other parent-allies at the school. That is the best way to make positive change: to rally other like-minded people to your cause. Good luck.
Great points! We are just going through this for the first time.
My youngest daughter told me last week that she has been teased since the beginning of the school year by two older boys that live on our street and attend the same middle school. This is my daughter’s first year in middle school. The issue ... the way that she looks. She needs braces badly but because she has not lost very many baby teeth we have been advised for the past two years to wait until she has her permanent teeth. Because my daughter has been so upset and trying to deal with this on her own (she didn’t want us to say anything because we know one of the families’ parents) - we had braces put on her front four teeth this morning - we were lucky there was a cancellation and they were able to get her started immediately after her consultation. She went to school so happy after her appointment today ... I’m just hoping that the boys don’t find another reason to tease my daughter on the way home tonight or we will be back at square one again!
Do you have a picky eater you’re trying to feed? Do you worry they’re either going to die of malnutrition, or from choking as you force food down their resisting throat?
Here are 10 tips that should help:
Ever felt provoked, defeated, or angry with one of your children?
Ever thought: Why does he have to be so difficult all of the time?
Ever said: “Oh yes, you will young man! That’s it, I’ve had it”?
If so, you’ve experienced a power struggle, and what an uncomfortable feeling it is. How can those little people make us so angry and wield so much power over us at the same time?
It’s easy, because we love them and we want so much for them to do the right thing. Nobody else’s children can do that to us.
Here are some tools to help with power struggles and temper tantrums:
Look for some more tips next month.
Comments
Craig,
TONS of people start tomatoes from seed in Canada… indoors!
Don’t know if you were living in florida at the time you grew tomatoes from seed in the garden. But no one grows tomatoes from seed even in the middle atlantic US much less canada. They need to much heat and season is too short.