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In a perfect world, everyone would be a morning person, up at the crack of dawn, cheery and ready to face the day with their workbags packed and teeth sparkling. But the reality for most families is that mornings are a scramble.
Do you almost lose your mind and voice each morning as you coax, remind and even threaten your kids? The stress can escalate all too quickly and leave a pallor on the rest of the day.
So what can we do to bring more peace and harmony to the mornings? Well, this is going to sound counterintuitive, but you have to give your kids more responsibility and let go of some of your own fears. The fact is, by pestering them, packing their bags and lining up their shoes, you are encouraging them to be dependent on you. So let yourself off the hook (and remember: if they are late, it is not a reflection on you).
An important goal of parenting is to encourage children towards independence. And the younger you start, the better! The more your children can do for themselves and for the family, the more confidence they will have. A good mantra for parents to repeat while making changes is ‘Love, Respect, and Faith’. Love doesn’t mean doing everything for your kids—it means letting go! Respect allows for them to make choices and to experience failure such as forgetting their homework, wearing the wrong shoes or being late. Think of these failures as opportunities to learn. And yes, have faith. They will learn.
Here’s a tried-and-true idea to get you started:
Have a family get-together to discuss the morning routine. Even a child as young as 2 1/2 can participate in creating a routine. When children have a say in creating the routine, they are much more likely to follow it. Make your meeting fun and brief, and remember a special snack can win almost anyone over!
Create a list of the jobs to be done in the morning. For instance, your child’s job is to dress themselves, and organize their pack. Your job is to dress yourself, to prepare breakfast and to call them when it’s ready. (Once only, not every 5 minutes!) With younger children it may be helpful to create a job chart with words and photos of them brushing their teeth, getting dressed and eating their breakfast.
Important tip: include a cuddle with a parent as the first thing they do in the morning. Children that feel cared about are far less likely to act out.
I’m going to go out on a limb, and predict that the first routine you make will not work perfectly. You may even curse the attempt. So agree to try the new routine for a few days only, with a plan to revisit it. Then celebrate what worked and tweak what didn’t! And feel free to comment here on your morning successes, failures and suggestions.
If you’re planning on taking your kids out trick or treating this year, help them get ready for the big night by making Halloween treat bags.
To get started, choose an old gift bag in a solid colour. Small gift bags are great—the kids will get a kick out of having their bags ‘almost full’ at the end of the night. Provide decorating supplies such as papers, markers, and crayons in black, green, orange, and white to give the bags a Halloween theme. The kids can draw or paste on cats, bats, pumpkins or witch faces; or they might choose a random collage of papers and markings.
Plain fabric bags make a great start to personalized painted treat bags. Use (washable) paints to get started, and add sparkles, Halloween stamps, or orange and black ribbons.
For bigger kids, there’s nothing more exciting than starting with a few scraps and transforming them into something usable. Stitching a bag together will exercise fine motor skills, and it’s easy to do: fold a piece of burlap in half, and use orange yarn strung onto a large darning needle to stitch up the sides. Use felt shapes to accessorize the bag, and string a ribbon handle through at the top.
Reach into the recycling bin for supplies to make paper mache Halloween buckets. Use a balloon as your bucket form (we taped ours into a bowl for stability), and make paste by mixing 1-part flour with 1.5-parts warm water. Rip old newspapers or other papers into shreds, and dip them into the paste, covering the balloon in at least two layers of paper. Let your bucket dry, pop the balloon, and add handles by punching a hole through the top edges of the bucket. Decorate the bucket with markers or paints.
The excitement of Halloween is a great opportunity for some hands-on fun. Your princesses and super heroes will strut down the streets with pride on Halloween night, as they tote their hand-made creations along.
This gives me some great ideas for Christmas too. I think I will have my daughter make Christmas Gift Bags this year for wrapping Christmas Gifts.
Comments
How could any of this be better stated? It couldn’t.
What a pleasure to read all of your stories and terrific ideas!
It reminded me of the importance of both consistency and flexibility in good parenting.
It makes sense that children do better with consistency - it helps them predict their day and establish good habits. However, there are times when flexibility is called for. For instance, if your child is refusing to brush their teeth one morning, it’s better to say “I love you too much to fight about this.” and let it go. You can do an extra good brushing that night.
Of course, if the behaviour becomes a pattern it’s time for a friendly chat (meaning a 2-way conversation not a lecture!) at a calm time to explore how we can make mornings work better.
A little dose of ‘this too will pass’ is helpful self-talk!
And as a mom very wisely reminded us, watching our children grow up and become independent can be bittersweet. :)