Don’t Get Lost

Sure, losing money in the markets is scary, but losing a child in a crowd is downright terrifying for moms. (Well, now that we’re over the fear of labour.) And at this time of year, with malls, airports, concert halls and a host of other crowded, stranger-filled places on the agenda, it’s worth reviewing your loss prevention strategy and what to do if the unthinkable does happen.

We consulted one of our favourite parenting books, Parking Lot Rules and 75 Other Ideas for Raising Amazing Children by Tom Sturges, for some very savvy tips on avoiding lost children.

We particularly like his ‘Stay Where You Are and Fly Like an Angel’ rule. Explain to your child that if she discovers she has been separated from the group, to stop and stay where she is, not to run for security, try to find you and, most importantly, not to hide. Next she should draw attention to herself by waving her arms up and down as broadly as possible (like an angel). As soon as you realize she is lost, retrace your steps and look for the waving arms of your child. (If she had been asking for something and you said no, head back to that spot first.)

Whenever you are going to be in a crowd, dress your child in easily identifiable clothing (the book suggests an NFL jersey but that might not work for everyone) that allows you to keep him in sight, and to be able to provide an accurate description of what he was wearing to security or police in case he does wander off. Conversely, parents should dress in a distinctive manner (consider it an excuse to wear your favourite Hawaiian shirt or baseball hat) so children have something to keep their eyes on as well. To help with identifying your child, make sure you have a current photo with you (one SavvyMom we know takes a picture with her cellphone camera at the beginning of each outing so she has an accurate record of exactly what each child is wearing that day).

Teach your child that her responsibility—and one and only job—is to always know where YOU are at all times. Test them when you are out and about from a very young age. This helps them know where they are and develop their self-awareness for when they are in crowds and busy places.

Assign each child a buddy (this usually works best when the buddy is about the same age and size). The buddy rules are that a buddy always needs to know where his buddy is, what he is doing (and why), and stays no more than an arm’s length away. 

Smaller children often get lost when they are unable to keep up with the group on foot, like at fairs or when the family is hiking or skiing. So assign one adult or older child as the ‘Caboose’, who is responsible for ensuring that no one is lagging behind and keeping everyone together.

Make sure kids have a way to access relevant contact information, even if they aren’t old enough to memorize phone numbers. Older children can carry a card which contains essential phone numbers and addresses. (In a pinch, give each kid one of your business cards as you set out on the outing.) Identity wristbands are helpful to ensure a lost child can be quickly reunited with a group (we like the My 411 Wristbands from Mabel’s Labels).

When you are reunited with a lost child, try to avoid the urge to scold him as this will increase his fear—rejoice in that fact that you found him and remind him that you always need to know where he is.

The bottom line is that it’s important to talk to your children about what to do when they are lost. Raising their awareness of the fact that they could get lost will reduce the chances of it ever happening. So take a few minutes before the holiday season gets going to go create your family’s ‘don’t get lost’ plan.

Then you can get back to losing sleep over other things, like that gift list.

The Parking Lot Rules and 75 Other Great Ideas for Raising Amazing Children
Tom Sturges
Ballantine Books (2008)

Comments