The Best Mother’s Day Ever
As I’m sure you know, this Sunday is Mother’s Day.
And while I’m not your mother (ahem), you can be certain that our children will require some assistance (not just the financial kind—but that helps), in order to celebrate me properly. They say the best gift a man can give his children is to show them how to love their mother and I could not agree more.
So allow me to be so bold as to propose the perfect Mother’s Day:
9:00 am – Wake to the delicious smell of Kick Ass Kicking Horse coffee, fully rested after 11 straight hours of uninterrupted sleep.
9:10 am – Receive butterfly kisses and handmade cards from children with sweet-smelling breath. My darling angels offer up a tray of low-carb breakfast goodies, steaming coffee and a posy of tulips plucked fresh from the garden.
9:30 am – Have a long luxurious bath, scented with Tom Ford’s Neroli Portofino Body Oil, while the kids clean up the bomb that went off in the kitchen during production of breakfast.
11:00 am – Put on a new outfit from lululemon (thank you, kids!) and the whole family ecstatically agrees to go for a 10K bike ride around Stanley Park.
12:30 pm – Stop for a water break at Third Beach, where set between some driftwood, is a gourmet picnic spread atop a vintage wool blanket. Dive into a huge assortment of sandwiches from Whole Foods, farm-fresh organic strawberries and a chilled glass of Joie’s Noble Blend wine.
2:30 pm – After the children make me a tiara of mini-daisies and recite original poems about how much they love their mother, a handsome man on a pedicab whisks me away to the Vida Spa at the Sutton Place Hotel, where my muscles are oiled, pummeled and stretched to oblivion.
5:00 pm – I am escorted home to a candlelight dinner (no take-out boxes in sight), after which I am presented with a beautiful charm necklace from Luxe Design, adorned with the names and birthstones of each of our children.
9:00 pm – After the kids are tucked into bed, we watch Modern Family on the PVR and laugh hysterically at our favourite neurotic mom, Claire Dunphy.
They say a happy wife is a happy life, and remember, Father’s Day is just around the corner. Tested by Nancy C., Vancouver