What Honeymoon?

whathoneymoon

Ah, it’€™s spring. The birds are chirping. The grass is long and green. The city’€™s streets and sidewalks are torn up and the Bond family, hand in hand, blissfully skips into yet another season. All smiles people!
I’€™m known to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative. So, in appreciation of the last week’€™s ‘€˜cold toss,’€™ allow me to sum up some recent events:

The Cold Toss, the Circle Sniff, the Sick Cycle’€”every family has a name for it (I just made those three up!), but the result is the same’€”one family member falls ill, then the others fall on top of them. If executed correctly, the timing should coincide with the month’€™s busiest schedule and most important meetings.

Baxter is a miserable sick child. Sure, there’€™s snot and a cough and changes in his digestion (I’€™ll leave it at that’€”you’€™re welcome), but there is also a new found awareness of this sad state. This metacognition paves the way for a kind of baby depression manifest through exhaustion, impatience, fidgeting and a constant blubbering, or as my father would say, ‘€˜pissing and moaning.’€™ It makes for a long day.

Baxter’€™s ‘€˜growth’€™ is phenomenal. No doubt. He’€™s practically walking and his babble linguistics are impressive. He’€™s not afraid if we leave the room and he’€™s more focused during playtimes. Unfortunately, he’€™s lost his taste for baths. By lost his taste, I mean he screams bloody murder and now that he can stand and move about, escape attempts are constant. I wonder if Oasis Relaxation Aromatherapy candles come in a log form?

Lastly, to those moms that just smiled smugly when I bragged that Baxter eats anything you put in front of him, I am now at the table eating those very words. Yesterday’€™s favourites are today’€™s cod liver oil. Some foods must precede other foods lest the planet go off axis. There is little confusion as to what Baxter will eat, and what is refused. Merely look on the floor or curtains.

That concludes the Bond State of the Family Address. I shall resume the white washing next week.

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