To All My Mom Friends: Stop Apologizing For Being Tired

Hey fellow Mom friends: I know you’re tired. But, to be honest, I really don’t have time to listen to what you are about to say. It has been a long day over here, too. So…

Please save it. I already see it in your eyes. I got it. I know how you feel. You’re exhausted. And guess what?

That is perfectly okay.

You don’t need to feel sorry or bad. I wish we weren’t so hard on ourselves. Your best friend wouldn’t let you feel this way. So you really shouldn’t do it to yourself.

As moms, we face different battles on a daily basis. Some days, you might feel up to the challenge. Other days, absolutely not. It’s not because we are weak. It is not because we are lazy. It is simply because this life can wear on you.

I remember my early days as a mom. Social media was quickly becoming our primary means of communication and I was in awe of all the mom friends I had that seemed perfect.

“She is always so radiant and full of energy,” I would think. Maybe I could be like that one day. If only I can get my eyes to open first.

When my daughter was a baby, I discovered this wonderful event called “Mommy and Baby Happy Hour.” It was a great concept where moms got together to chat with other moms (and drink!) as the kiddies got to run around. I loved going, but sometimes I just didn’t feel up to it. There were days when my daughter didn’t sleep that well the night. Other times, it interfered with her nap schedule. The first time that I didn’t feel up to it, I went anyway. The second time, I didn’t.

It wasn’t the end of the world, but I felt as if I owed my friends an excuse.

I once said that my baby was under the weather and I needed to take her to the doctor. It was a total lie, but I felt as if I had to have a reason for not being there. These moms managed to get themselves together. They managed to get out of the house. Why couldn’t I manage to do the same? I wanted to be that mom: the mom who got everything done perfectly and on a daily basis. If I didn’t, I felt like I was obviously doing something wrong.

But one of the perks of parenting is getting to join a wonderful community. You may not find it at first. As an introvert, connecting with others has been challenging for me. Sometimes, I have to actually force myself. Nine out of ten times, I was always grateful that I did. It takes time to develop meaningful relationships. They need to be nurtured.

If you’re lucky enough to find one, it will feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders. I remember the day I confided to one of my friends that I laid on the couch the whole day before due to a horrible migraine.

“I can sleep all day even without the migraine.” she said.

I felt as if I could breathe again. The relief was very cathartic. I would not have to pretend or worry about what she thought. I knew right then and there that I loved this person.

Just recently, a rainy day had me in a blue mood. I felt powerless and very guilty for not being productive, but tomorrow is a new day. Even though I sometimes allow myself to give in to the exhaustion, it doesn’t mean I am giving up.

Neither are you.

The experience of motherhood varies day by day. Believe it or not, a bad day is just as acceptable as a good one. We are human after all. It is how we are able to pick ourselves up that really matters. Picking ourselves up requires a lot of strength. Yet, we do it. Every single day.

So, the next time you feel overwhelmed with exhaustion, please remember that all of us have gone through it at one time or another. House a mess? Sink full of dirty dishes? We have all been there. Remember to be gentle with yourself during these times. It serves no purpose to beat yourself up.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation. You are doing a great job. And if you can, carve out some time for a little nap.

You deserve it.