Exercise Is Essential. Exercise Is Self Care

It took me until midlife and many spins through diet culture and the delicate dance of wellness once my daughter recovered from Anorexia to truly understand that exercise is essential. And exercise is self care! In fact, the Jonah Hill documentary Stutz first introduced to me the concept that exercising made you feel good and that could be its sole purpose… not just a means to burn calories (so I could eat more). Deprogramming the diet culture mindset was helpful for this however it’s not a key driver.

That’s how I managed to drag myself with my then-husband to the gym for 6am daily for the better part of a year, pre-pandemic. “Fighter training” was my first step in improving my relationship with exercise however the pandemic, and then my daughter’s illness, and then the rest of the crushing events of the past couple of years, completely wiped me of the ability to do much at all. Pounding a heavy bag and going how-ever-many rounds that particular morning’s workout entailed used to be the hardest thing I’d do that day. And just like that, simply existing was painful. I didn’t have it in me to physically hurt also.

Thanks to my faithful canine companion, I still got out every day. I walked. In silence. Straight out of an ’80s music video with frozen tears streaming down my cheeks during the frosty winter months and a baseball cap pulled over my eyes on sunny days since I’m worried about the sun and aging now. Eventually the silence became too silence-y but making playlists felt impossible. AND being of my advanced age I realized I needed to step up my fitness regime but felt powerless (ha!) to actually lift weights. I was down bad and literally crying at the boxing gym once a week but thankfully sweaty enough so no one really noticed.

Luckily, the nice folks at Peloton got in touch in the spring and asked if I wanted to try their app. They had just added kettlebell workouts which are super handy if you don’t have a lot of space for workout gear storage (or a bike, or a treadmill). I kinda hated working out at home so the idea of Peloton didn’t really appeal. But since now realizing the importance of fitting in exercise however I can, the app helps me find workouts that are suited to doing just that.

I met with Peloton’s Andy Speer. He shared with me some tips for kettlebell training (like using a 20lb kettlebell, when I would only ever use a 10) and about the importance of integrating fitness into one’s daily life…

Andy Speer:

“You asked if is it better to do three days of 30 minutes or five days of 10 minutes. Ideally, you set aside a daily routine. Right. And I always say the more extreme example is better to go to the gym for an hour and a half on Saturday and Sunday and then not during the week. Or do 20 minutes a day during every day.

A little more extreme example of what you do, which is better, I would say, be more consistent with it. Shorter workouts. When you work it into your routine, you’re less likely to skip it.

It’s much more beneficial for both your physical and your mental health. Even if it’s 20 minutes a day to make it happen to get in there. And then within that 20 minutes, maybe two days a week, you do a kettlebell routine that’s like a little bit more strength oriented, maybe a little bit more demanding. One or two days a week, maybe you’re gonna do, you know, put your cardio in and then maybe one day you just do like mobility and core work.”

For me, finding time to exercise felt like just another thing on a never-ending to-do list. That’s why we went so early in the morning. And now I’ve started looking at exercise not as something I should do, but something I deserve to do.

Reframing Movement as Self Care

Somewhere along the way, exercise got tangled up with guilt: If I didn’t do a solid 45-minute workout, did it even count? If I wasn’t sore after, was it a waste of time?

But exercise doesn’t have to be punishing to be powerful. Now I live beside the boardwalk and walk consistently every day. I love the Peloton guided walks. There’s music I didn’t have to think about selecting and moods I can choose between. There are mindful outdoor walks, outdoor after-dinner strolls, and my favourite: Kirsten Ferguson‘s Intention Setting Walks. Never before have I heard a trainer be so vulnerable while leading a workout. For someone who is navigating a great deal of life changes, Kirsten’s words are so validating and inspiring.

So if you think you just don’t have time to work out, you’re not alone. So maybe the real shift is to stop thinking of it as a workout at all. Think of it as self-care. As soul maintenance. As an act of kindness toward the only body and the only self you have.

Because when we move we feel better and we show up better—for ourselves and everyone else.