Gene Therapy


Some consider me to be an original thinker’€”I think outside the box. I am not constrained by convention or protocols. This has never prevented me from achieving my goals. Besides inheriting my 60-something hairline, Baxter has inherited my ‘€˜path-less-travelled’€™ gene.
He turns nine months as I write this post, and I’€™ve attributed his lack of physical motivation to several anecdotal observations. First up, he’€™s huge. That’€™s a big one. Granted, he can push back onto his knees, but it’€™s like watching the final stages of a spinning top wind down. He teeters, sways, stumbles and collapses. This is often followed by full-bodied expression of hopelessness’€”while on his belly, he lifts his arms and legs like a parachutist in free-fall. Perhaps this is my protester gene in action. Perhaps he’€™s been reading some physics and believes in equal and opposite reactions (that ain’€™t my genes).

Next up, where is there to go? Everything is brought to Master Baxter, so moving risks things will be brought to where he was, instead of where he is. This is potentially brilliant thinking (Amy’€™s genes).

Finally, Baxter has been fenced in, confined by cribs, jumpers, saucers, sofas, and small mats, all restricting the surrounding geography so that any major movement risks a minor head injury. But, by simply spinning a sofa, removing a buffet and laying down a soft shag rug over two pads, a veritable endless field has been born in our living space. Eureka!

What we have now is free-range Baxter. After some quick math, considering his disability (did I mention he’€™s an ample child?), calculating his inertia, and accounting for lack of experience, Baxter chooses the unconventional, outside-the-box transportation technique known as the barrel roll. He quickly discovers the guitar needn’€™t come to him; he can come to the guitar’€”that, and the rusty antique scale doesn’€™t taste as good as it looks. (And his parents discovered the shiny, bright, cabinet filled with glass, surrounded by glass may need some baby-proofing, stat!)

And as a bonus, Baxter can roll into the dining area and consume all the treats he’€™s kept on the floor for safekeeping.


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