For the first time in my life, I have long nails. Not only do I have long nails, but they are pointy shaped. Like really pointy. In the beauty industry, my new ‘I-could-claw-your-eyes-out pointy nails‘ are known as Stiletto Nails, a manicure trend that’s been around for years. Like wearing Stiletto heels, they take some time getting used to.
In the parenting world, unlike the beauty world, I would call getting these stiletto nails, um, an interesting experiment? I admit I feel glamorous and a bit of a badass mom with my new sharp and sexy pointed nails, just in time for Valentine’s Day. But women are divided over this nail style, a trend that seems here to stay. I can see why, especially if you’re a mother, and you have to do motherly things.
Want to know how many times a day your child will ask you to open something for them? Get stiletto nails! I realized as soon as I came home that there would be a learning curve with these nails, which makes me feel like some sort of a human/cat mutation and, also, that I’d have to relearn how to parent with these new claws of mine.
I don’t think, in all of my fourteen years of being a parent, that I’ve responded to my children, seemingly almost every six minutes with, ‘I can’t open that for you. Sorry! My nails!’ Yes, parenting with stiletto nails is challenging. I learned that immediately after leaving the salon, trying to text my daughter to see where she was. It took about 5 minutes to type, ‘I’m on my way home.’ At home, my son immediately asked me to open a lollipop for him.. I got so frustrated, I ended up ripping it open with my teeth, wanting to claw my eyes out (Ironic, isn’t it?)
Everyone I talked to said I would get used to my new nails and that I would love them. No one, however, mentioned that getting Stiletto nails would affect my parenting. (But there are really pretty photographs of them on Instagram.)
To be brutally honest, (and T.M.I.) even wiping myself after using the bathroom is now a challenge with my new nails, not to mention doing up my own zipper afterwards. When I took a shower to wash my hair, I needed to use both hands to get the shampoo out of the bottle, because my stiletto nails got in the way. When I tried to bathe my son, I could barely hold on to the bar of soap.
But… again… they are so pretty!
When my son asked for his daily morning breakfast of peanut butter on toast, I couldn’t hold the knife like I normally do. To get the peanut butter out of it’s jar, I had to play hand gymnastics, holding on to the knife, as if I had no fingers, with the tube of peanut butter under my armpit. When it comes to getting dressed? Again, I could barely zip up my own jacket, let alone my son’s. Also, I couldn’t throw around a football, or play fight either, because I keep worrying these nails will break off.
They’re so pretty! But not when it comes to parenting.
Even turning on the television with the Apple TV remote so my kid could watch TV was awkward and clumsy. And forget about wearing a necklace if you have to use a clasp, and no one is around to help. I’m thinking that I better buy myself a few new pairs of leggings and buy my son more sweatpants, because doing up buttons and zippers has suddenly become an obstacle. Getting a kid out the door in the morning is hard enough. With Stiletto-style nails, it’s even harder.
“Dear Ms. M.: My son is late today because I have new stiletto nails and now it takes me 15 minutes to tie up his boots.” I can imagine that at some point soon, I’ll have to write this to my son’s teacher.
I thought that my son, who loves having his back tickled, would enjoy my new nails since that seems to be one of the only benefits so far.
But then I went to ruffle my son’s hair and just as I went to touch it, he moved and I poked him in the forehead. He did not like that. What’s that saying? It’s all fun and games until someone gets their eye poked out? Maybe it should now be, “It’s all fun and games until Mommy gets Stiletto nails.” Why? Because Mommy won’t be able to open that bag of chips you asked for, so she ended up stabbing the bag with a scissors to open them? I’m not kidding when I say it’s even a little bit challenging opening the fridge door. And my kids need to eat.
Like being pregnant, many people ask questions about my new nails. A number of people asked, “Can I touch them?” just like they would when I was pregnant and people wanted to touch my belly. People seem to be as interested in my new nails as they were when I had a baby bump, so much so, I almost expect a gift for my new nails.
One mother said my pointy stiletto nails looked, “Dangerous.” I wanted to ask, “Do you mean dangerous in a sexy way? Meow!” But I’m pretty positive she meant dangerous in a “How could you not hurt yourself, or someone else, with those?” kind of way. It’s fair point. And one that many mothers apparently discuss on message boards: pointy nails while having a newborn…or any child, for that matter is a well-discussed topic.
I do think having fake nails with a newborn or toddler would pose a number of issues. How do you wipe a baby’s nose, or butt, without your nails getting in the way? Or, worse, what will end up in your long nails while changing diapers? Eeek!
Have you tried Stiletto Nails? How was your experience? I really do love the look of them. But I guess, I love my kiddos more, so I’m pretty sure I’m going to go back to short nails. Still, for the next two weeks, at least my kids know that, “No… I’m sorry, but I just can’t open that for you.”
Feature photo: Via beautifulhameshablog.com
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