Why We Should Be Grateful for Stay-at-Home Moms

Stay at Home Moms

I have a confession to make. I’ve been watching you.

You, the working mom with your clickety-clack heels and train pass, trying to make it home in time for dinner.

You, the stay-at-home mom in the yoga pants and baby spit-up stained shirt, counting down the hours until the kids get home.

I see you because I was you. I am you.

Before I had kids, I’ll confess to sighing once or twice when the new mom at work missed a day because of a sick kid. Really? Again?

And then when I had kids, I suddenly resented those who didn’t. Those women who would, could, gladly put in the long hours at the office, just like I used to. Wait until it’s your turn, I’d say to myself.

During my brief stint as a stay-at-home mom, I thought I had to do it all perfectly—the house, the laundry, the meals, the carefully orchestrated activities.

And as a work-from-home mom, I simply run around like a chicken with her head cut off, trying —and failing—to do it all, never quite doing anything to my satisfaction.

We need to give each other, and ourselves, a break. In particular—stay-at-home moms.

While today’s culture is increasingly showing working moms the love—in sentiment, though not yet in action (workplace culture, I’m looking at you)—there still isn’t a lot of love for stay-at-home moms. I mean, they have it easy, right? What do they do all day, anyway? (At least, that’s what I used to wonder.)

But the more time I spend at my kids’ school, the more I notice: They’re the ones making sure your kids don’t choke at lunchtime. Watching over them at recess and on field trips. Raising money for school supplies and educational tools.

They help create a sense of community in our neighbourhoods when everyone else is off to work. They contribute at church. They participate in charities.

It’s not to say they’re better than everyone else—they’re not. And it’s not to say that working moms don’t contribute in the same way—I know they do, as much as they can while juggling responsibilities at work and home as well.

But for my part, I want to acknowledge and thank stay-at-home moms for the hidden, unpaid work that they do.

A woman’s work is often unacknowledged. We bear the brunt of domestic chores, with no remuneration. We’re still underpaid, undervalued and underpromoted in the workforce. Perhaps some feel that by keeping their place in the home, these stay-at-home moms are undermining the progress we’ve made, the progress there’s still left to do.

Who knows, maybe they’ll go back to work when the kids grow up. Or find a young family they can help. Or become caregivers until their kids give them grandchildren. To each, her own.

But if you think she’s doing nothing sitting in front of the TV all day, you might want to give her another glance. And thank her for everything she is doing.




  1. Laura on March 19, 2019 at 10:51 pm

    Thank you for writing this. I am a stay at home mom and, yes, I sometimes do feel invisible in spite of hundreds of hours of volunteering at our children’s school. I have volunteered at almost every field trip (including keeping an eye on the child who wants to play hide and seek in the museum…and swimming one on one with the child who likes to try and hide in the swimming pool…). I have run the weekly literacy program, raised funds, baked hundreds of cookies and muffins that are safe for every child in the class (as every child should always be included, period). I have brought extra mittens and food for children who forgot theirs, been the “Computer Mom,” sorted the library returns and assembled the craft supplies. I have helped children with upset stomachs and the odd nosebleed. I have measured for costumes, and cheered for every child at the play day while holding a parachute or wearing snowshoes. Helping has been and continues to be my choice and It has been so amazing to support my children and their classmates. I am proud that events have been able to run and run more smoothly because I could be there. I know that not every parent can do this and I appreciate that we all have different paths and choices to make for many reasons. That is ok with me. All that said, I really appreciate your kind words of recognition. I believe that helping others is a wonderful thing and so is someone noticing how hard I have tried.

  2. Catalina on March 20, 2019 at 10:27 am

    Oh, Laura, I am so happy that this reached you. I’m really in awe of everything all moms do, at home, at school, at work. Like I said, I have working mom friends that help out too, but to see the moms who are there, at school, day in, day out, is really eye-opening. All these years, I had no clue that they were doing all this. That being involved this much was even an option. A lot of us parents think the teachers are making it happen, but often it’s you volunteer moms who are organizing the events, helping the kids with reading, monitoring lunch rooms and recess. We need you! And we are grateful for you!

  3. Heather on March 20, 2019 at 10:51 am

    Another spot on article! As I’ve been both I totally agree its moms that make the world go round and we as women, really need to step up and help a sister out with emotional support whatever their hard choices are.

  4. Catalina on March 21, 2019 at 2:15 pm

    Thanks Heather! When I was writing it, I was so worried about offending one side or the other, as having experience with both, I can sympathize with both sides. Today at my daughter’s daycare, some of the stay at home moms spoke up and shared thanks for writing this and acknowledging all they do. It really warmed my heart to just be able to say “Thanks” to them, and share with others what they might not be aware of. I certainly didn’t realize the extent of their contributions until recently, even though my eldest is in Grade 5. Thank you volunteers! xo

Leave a Comment