Kate Hudson Pregnant! What It’s Like to Have Kids From Different Dads

Kate Hudson_feature

Last Friday, actress Kate Hudson announced in an Instagram post that she is expecting again. “A little girl on the way,” she wrote. Hudson has two other children, from previous relationships, 14 year-old Ryder Robinson, with The Black Crowes singer Chris Robinson, and six year-old Bingham Hawn Bellamy, with Muse’s Matt Bellamy. When I read the news, I was super excited for the actress, of whom I’ve always admired for a number of reasons.

I first met Kate Hudson, on a press junket in Los Angeles, when she was promoting her movie Le Divorce. I was the only female in a roomful of male reporters. When Hudson saw that I was pregnant too, she pretty much ignored all the other reporters and we chatted about our pregnancies. By then, I was already feeling (and looking) like a whale, and she barely looked pregnant at all. We talked about her cravings for all things sour. Since then, our paths in life have been somewhat parallel.

Hudson gave birth to her first baby a handful of months after I gave birth to my first born. She also split with her first husband, just around the time I was splitting up with mine. Hudson then went on to get engaged, and remained engaged for years, just as I did. By then, we both were pregnant with our second child, each with another man. She never married the father of her second child, and doesn’t seem, yet, to have any plans to marry her boyfriend, just as I never married the father of my second child (or the first, for that matter.)

I just knew that when she announced her third pregnancy, that at least a handful of news outlets, if not mostly all of them, just wouldn’t be able to stop themselves from mentioning that the beautiful and talented actress already has two other children from two other men. I was right. Take Hello Magazine’s headline, which reads, ‘Surprise! Kate Hudson announces she’s pregnant – watch the baby genre reveal!’ which would have been just fine. But then the subtext above the story read, ‘The actress already has two sons from previous relationships.’ Why does that part – the fact that she already has two kids from two previous relationships – have to be front and center?

I guess people are interested in what it’s like to have multiple children by different men. I know only too well what it’s like to have two children with two different men, and what it’s like to have to explain having children with different fathers. This includes, but not limited to, curious stares, questions, and, yes, sadly, judgment.

A columnist who was once writing about me over a story I wrote that went viral—a story that had absolutely nothing to do with me having two children from two different fathers—just *had* to throw in, “Eckler has another child from a previous relationship.” This women’s column was supposed to be about modern parenting. It was anything but.

I’m fiercely protective of my children, so I called her out on it. This was a woman writer whose house I had been to. Even worse, I thought we were friends. She eventually did take that line out, but I will never forget that she added it in, nor do I feel a need to forgive her. Why? Her tone was completely judgmental. To me, there is nothing worse than mothers not supporting other mothers.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve had to say to people, that yes, I have two children with two different men, and THEN feel the need to add on, “I had my second child with another man…9 years after my first,” because of the judgement I feel. And there is judgment, even if it’s a stunned nanosecond, before they respond, with, ‘Oh!.’ So what is it that intrigues people about women who have children with different men?

My two children from different daddies!

First, I think that many people don’t comprehend my aversion, or ambivalence, to marriage. I’ve only ever been engaged. My parents have been happily married for 51 years, so I have good role models. I have nothing against marriage—when it comes to others.

Let me be real. I really don’t know exactly why people seem to care about why I have two different baby daddies, but I can tell you what it’s like and what mothers who have children with two, even three different men—like Kate Winslet—is like. I am fortunate to get along with both my baby daddies. Mostly, like any family with more than one child, it is a constant logistical challenge. I need to be organized, when it comes to making plans for my children, just in a slightly different way. Like, “Oh, Rowan your Daddy is coming to town. You’ll be staying with him for three days so you’ll need to pack all your school uniforms, plus other clothes.” And, “Holt, don’t forget your iPad when you go to Daddy’s house!” Or, I’ll have to say to my son, “Rowan is with her Daddy,” when he asks where his sister is, just like I have to do with my daughter about her brother.

The greatest challenge, quite frankly, is the damn paperwork. Over March Break, when I took just the kiddos to Mexico—a Daddies-free vacation—I needed two different travel letters, from each father, to travel out of the country. Same goes for filling out other forms, like passports, when I need signatures from one Daddy for one kid and another from another Dad. And, my children each have different last names—their fathers.

The fathers of my children have completely opposite personalities, and I’ve learned how to be, act, and converse with each of them, unlike my friends who have been married for years and know just how to deal with one partner.

Hudson is pregnant with her 3rd child. That makes Baby Daddy #3

Sometimes I think people are simply curious, wondering themselves what it would be like to have children with different genetic makeups. As recently as last week, when I took my son to his Tai Kwon Do class, and brought my daughter along, a kind man there with his children couldn’t believe that my son, Holt, who has sandy blonde hair and blue eyes was my kid, when my daughter has chocolate brown hair and eyes just like me.

Both of my children’s fathers don’t really know each other and, honestly, they don’t really ask about the children that are not theirs by blood. I have had to teach my children that while they have the same mother, they each have different fathers. It gets confusing sometimes for other people, too. They ask me how many children I have and how old they are and then say, “Wow! That’s a big gap in age!” Because the age difference between my daughter and son is almost a decade, I feel the need to explain that my daughter is from a previous relationship and my son is from my second relationship.

When it comes to family, I am a huge believer in loyalty. In my son’s room, there are photographs of his father. In my daughter’s room, there are photos of her father. My daughter is very loyal to her father, my son is loyal to his.

When it comes to celebrating Father’s Day or my baby daddy’s birthdays, I make sure that my two children do or make something nice for their respective fathers. Likewise, on Mother’s Day, I get gifts or notes from both my children’s fathers.

I wouldn’t change a thing about my life…except, maybe, all the damn paperwork. This is all I have to say to Hudson: Congratulations!



  1. Lisa on April 12, 2018 at 6:43 pm

    Firstly, why do u care what other ppl who have no impact on ur life think? I have 4 kids and a grandson and still under 40. I had my oldest at 19. She’ll be 20 later this yr and has a son who’ll be 2 in May (I hadn’t even turned 37 yet). She’s engaged to her high school sweetheart. Then I had my oldest son 4 yrs later. He’ll be 16 this yr. They have the same father and his last name. He’s a POS and has screwed them around their whole lives, but my daughter still talk to him. He cheated on me with 3 diff women incl a married woman he worked with. He was very emotionally/mentally abusive.

    I then dated someone for a yr, we broke up and a few mths later met my yngst daughter’s father. I was on the pill, and it failed. He walked out when I was 4 mths pregnant and lives over 2.5hrs away. He’s nvr known her and she just turned 13. She has my last name.

    After that I stayed single for 6yrs, during which time I was forced to switch careers and re-educate. In early 2010 I met my hubby (technically engaged) and in Nov 2011 we had a son. He has my hubby’s last name. So 4 kids, 3 different last names and my last name is my maiden name. Now that’s confusing for ppl, but I’ve nvr had an issue. My hubby became the father my yngst daughter nvr had and we’re happy. I stopped giving a crap what other ppl thought of me and my life choices, long ago, and couldn’t be happier.

    I too was raised with married parents who’ve been married now for 43yrs and have helped me raise my kids in a strong family structure. To me it’s only important that kids have strong family values and morals. If someone had said “OMG she’s pregnant with her 4th child and already has 3 kids from 2 diff fathers” I’d have asked why they were so jealous. Is it b/c they’re miserable in their own life? Not able to have kids? Or chose not to have kids and secretly regret it? As someone who studied psychology with focus on human behaviour, I can tell u there is ALWAYS a reason. Ppl, humans, we don’t do anything without a reason, even if we ourselves don’t realize it.

    In closing, it’s YOU that has the problem with having 2 kids with diff fathers, u just don’t realize it, as I didn’t for many yrs. It was my hubby who taught me to not care. When we met and I was uneasy about my situation, he said “I like u for who u are and that’s all that matters. Why do u care about what someone u don’t know, may think? Once u stop giving a sh*t, a huge weight will be lifted off ur shoulders”, and he was right! Good luck, and stop caring. It’s YOUR life, no one else’s!

  2. Alice on May 16, 2018 at 9:26 am

    Absolutely love this honest open hearted human article! Thanks for sharing your experience and point of view in the topics of… life!

  3. Crossroads on June 19, 2018 at 9:03 pm

    The answer is 3, for anyone googling… unamarried Kate Hudson has 3 baby daddies… 3.

  4. Karly on July 9, 2018 at 1:17 pm

    Ohhh can I relate to this! I am currently 5 months pregnant with my fourth child, two from marriage, two from an engagement. I am no longer with the man I was engaged to, which makes it very odd for the pregnancy, but we are respectful. I get all kinds of questions and all kinds of judgements. I’m at the point where whenever I’m asked questions about the situation, I get frustrated, and am frankly just sick of talking about it. I love all my children more than anything and I am in no means the only single mom out there. I’ve never gone through custody battles with my 2 baby daddies, and although this can be difficult with the second daddy at times (his temperament can be a bit touchy) I feel it’s the best thing for my children. If you’re able to work it out yourselves, do it! This is the most challenging part of motherhood for me. I literally work around both of their work schedules and plan my free time around theirs. Thank God I have a job that’s flexible! It’s hard to keep track of their lives so I can keep track of my own, but these are the sacrifices I make to ensure we can coparent without court orders. When this fourth baby comes I will be another mommy over the moon in love, but until then, I’m just a walking tabloid magazine waiting to be read and judged :/

  5. Please, spare us the whining. on September 18, 2018 at 4:21 pm

    Why do you care what people think about a celebrity? Also, demanding that another journalist to edit their copy is no bueno since It Was Factual. You’re a public figure, and a blogger who writes about “parenting,” so it was fair game. If I had been the writer I would have told you to go fuck yourself and left the copy as written.

    If “Kate Hudson” were an average person who lived in a trailer park, she would endure the same criticism. Just because she’s rich and famous (also, a public figure) does not excuse her from people asking, “What the fuck is she doing?” I mean, come on. Two by two different dads is one thing. Three is when there needs to be some serious self-reflection.

  6. Billy on November 20, 2018 at 8:46 pm

    Stop being so offended and explaining yourself. This reads as 100% your problem. Every article I’ve ever read includes siblings.

  7. Mia on December 1, 2018 at 8:10 pm

    Two is reasonable, three baby daddies though? That’s kind of more like get your shit together.

  8. Liz Roberts on January 12, 2019 at 11:15 am

    Seriously! No different than having 8 kids with 8 different fathers. It is 2019 and perfectly acceptable l!

  9. Kara on April 20, 2019 at 9:00 am

    I think people judge things that are questionable and I suppose in my eyes it appears that consideration about the strength of the relationships between the parents is lacking and therefore a life is brought into the world as a hasty decision. I can also see from other points of view that some women have children through their lives we are of child bearing age for about 30 years of our lives so if we have three decade long relationships and bear a child from each one it adds up. Obviously every situation is different.

  10. Gina Annese on November 27, 2020 at 9:00 pm

    Why is this an issue with only women! My daughters father has 3 possibly 4 baby mommas.

Leave a Comment