The ‘World’s Worst End-of-School-Year-Parent’ Award Goes To…

Worst End of School Year Parent

Me! (I’d like to thank the School Board!)

Screw my ‘World’s Greatest Hockey Mom’ coffee mug. I need a bottle of wine with the label, ‘World’s Worst End-of-School Parent.’ Why? Even though there’s almost a month of school left, I. Am. So. Over. This. School. Year.

I couldn’t help but burst out laughing when I saw an e-mail sent last week from my son’s S.K. teacher, which began with, ‘We have some important information to help you prepare for upcoming dates and reminders.’

At first glance, after seeing how many dates were listed, I said to myself, ‘Are you F***king kidding me?’ When I showed my colleague the e-mail, she said, ‘Okay, that’s crazy!’ And we both are mothers, who work at a parenting website.

The e-mail listed all the important dates I need to remember for my 5 year-old son for the month of June. The list is as follows:

  1. The Kindness Ripples Bake sale will take place on Tuesday May 29th. Kindergarten students sent to school with money will be taken down to pick up a yummy treat before the Bake Sale at 11 a.m.
  2. Freezie Friday will take place on June 1, 15th, and 22nd. If you are interested in sending in freezies please contact our class parent.
  3. Falcon Festival is Thursday June 7th after school.
  4. Storyteller Fluffy Souffle will visit on Thursday June 14th in the afternoon.
  5. The Principle’s Retirement party will take place on Thursday June 14th immediately after school. Come out and help us celebrate her 30-year contribution to the school.
  6. Father/Fudge day will take place on Friday June 15th from 9:00-9:45. Details to follow.
  7. S.K. Graduation, Tuesday June 19th 9:00-9:45. This event is for SK families only. If you are interested in contributing something to this party, please contact the class parent.

My son’s teacher, who is beyond wonderful, added, ‘If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask!’ Um, yeah I have questions! First, and I think any parent after getting an e-mail like this, would ask, ‘Why is everything crammed into the month June?’ Also, ‘Am I the only parent who kind of dropped the ball on school already, like, weeks ago?

I think I stopped looking in my son’s Friday Folder last month! And I admit, the whole ‘reading before bedtime’ thing has turned into, ‘Yeah, you have twenty more minutes on your Xbox before bed.’ Why? I’m tired. I have checked out, and I know it’s not in a good way, but I can see the finish line…

I want to ask, ‘You’ve just given me 9 dates to remember, all within two weeks, and I can’t even remember what I’ve eaten for breakfast three hours ago…’ How can I be expected to remember all these dates, let alone show up for them, let alone remember to send my kid to school with some money for the three freezies dates listed?’

Are our kids even learning anything in June anyway? What is it with schools cramming in all these dates when school is practically over? And way to make an already working mom feel even more guilty for missing out on some of these dates.

So, yes, I admit, I’m a sub-par parent when it comes to my kids education by the time June rolls around. For almost ten months, I’ve remembered special outfits for spirit days, when my son is a special helper, I’ve read to him, packed snacks, checked his knapsack and donated supplies to the class.

Mostly it just seems like June is a month-long party for my little guy, with freezies, bake sales and school festivals. I certainly can’t be the only mother feeling over overwhelmed, while also throwing my hands up when getting an e-mail that reads like a never-ending-to-do-list.

I loved this hilarious piece, by Jen Hatmaker, who just doesn’t give a damn either at this point in the school year. She sums up my feelings perfectly! ‘We are limping, limping across the finish line, folks. I tapped out somewhere in April and at this point, it is a miracle my kids are still even going to school. I haven’t checked homework folders in three weeks, because, well, I just can’t. Cannot. Can. Not. I can’t look at the homework in the folder. Is there homework in the folder? I don’t even know. Are other moms still looking in the homework folder? I don’t even care,’ she writes.

I haven’t checked his knapsack in weeks. Why? I’m so over this school year. World’s Worst End-of-School Year Mother here!

And, though she does feel slightly ashamed at having already given up when it comes to all the end-of-the-year school commitments and activities, she also pleads, ‘Teachers, we need to make a deal that after April testing, we don’t have to do anything else. You don’t. I don’t. I don’t care if you watch movies in class five days a week and take four recesses a day. I mean, Caleb had to bring an About Me poster with five school days left in the year. In September, this might have produced something noteworthy, with pictures perhaps, even some thoughtful components to describe his winning qualities, but as we’ve used up all our bandwidth, we yanked trash out of our actual trash can, glued it to a poster, and called it a day.’

She, too, has apparently gotten lengthy e-mails, about all the end-of-school events. ‘The emails coming in for All Of The Things – class gift, end of year letters, luncheon signup, party supplies, awards ceremonies, pictures for the slide shows, final projects – are like a tsunami of doom. They are endless…’

The comments on her blog are pretty priceless. ‘My son came home from school today with *4* Honors Certificates/Awards/Things With Atta-Boy Stickers On Them. “Mom! Look at everything I got at the Awards Ceremony!” I HAD NO IDEA THERE WAS ONE! I’m not even going to LOOK in the backpack,’ one mom admitted. Ha!

My son’s teachers are saints, and act like a second mother to my child, for ten months a year, five days a week, 6 hours a day. I’m most certainly not mad at the teachers, who go far above and beyond what is expected. I’m just really challenged when it comes to organization and remembering dates.

One teacher, commenting on the blog, chimed in with, ‘I was thinking the same thing. I’m a teacher and a mom. I get it from both sides. However, we need to continue to support education and the teachers. If we allow our kids to “check out” a month early, what kind of message do you think that gives them? Education needs to be looked at as a privilege. The ability to go to school needs to be respected and appreciated. There are children in other countries that risk their lives to get an education on a daily basis.’ Well, now I feel bad!

Still, I’m pretty sure my son’s teachers are also limping to get through the rest of the month, just like us parents. I can guarantee that my kid will show up for school, but I can’t be blamed if he’s not wearing a pink shirt on pink shirt day. I guarantee that I will be there for his graduation, but I do need a reminder to get to the bank and get some actual cash on freezie days. I can guarantee you his teachers will get a personal gift from me for being so awesome, but I can’t guarantee I’ll get around to getting the class rep money to chip in for one large gift card, because, quite frankly I don’t even know who the class rep is. And at this point, although I recognize it’s a pretty thankless volunteer position, does it matter at this point?

So, I’ve checked out on my kid’s education, until next year. I feel fine about being ‘The World’s Worst End-of School-Year-Mom,’ and want to flash forward to the end of June.

See you in September! (That is, after I get through all the ridiculous dress up days I’ll need to remember when my son goes to day camp. But that’s another story!) Have you checked out on all things school-related? Do I have competition for World’s Worst End of School Parent Award?



1 Comment

  1. Pearl Saban on May 29, 2018 at 8:11 am

    I always love your “laugh-out-loud-and-rant-out-loud-’cause-I-don’t-want-to-cry” honesty.
    Although I’m at a different stage with my kids’ schooling, I totally get it. Even my youngest, who’s graduating from grade 12, gave me a list of everything doing in the next two-three weeks at school, and stuff that includes me too. I cannot keep the dates straight either.
    When the weather warms up and the sun is shining, the kids prefer to be outside the classroom, so the last few weeks of SK or primary grades or beyond are meant to be fun and engaging for the kids. To hell with the parents!
    Just wait till you encounter high school “skip” days or “student walk-outs”…all great fun — for the kids, not parents. 🙂

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